Forgiveness

[Evergreentree]

Has anyone achieved this? If so how did you do it? I am trying but I can’t get my head around the whole concept but I keep reading to move on from trauma and rebuild your life it’s important but I have no idea where to start and wondered if anyone had been through it?

Forgiveness is HUGE. You don't just do it overnight. I suppose sometimes people do but the vast majority of the time it's a process which takes time.

Sometimes you need to find out what you're forgiving first before you go on to forgive, which takes a therapy of some sort to find out what you're forgiving.

Big debate around what forgiveness actually is. imo it ISN'T 'ah no worries, that's ok' when something really serious has been done to you. imo forgiveness is letting it go. As you can imagine, 'letting it go' takes an awful lot sometimes.

ime forgiveness in some instances is a lifetime job: I regularly have to remember to forgive/let it go. I'm not perfect at this but I give it my best shot - because unforgiveness, or bitterness, is so bad for me.

I also happen to have a faith so I go to my God and say 'help me to forgive because I can't do this myself'. I forgive myself when I don't achieve it.

Not sure if that makes much sense. Can you say what you want to forgive?

I could only forgive my H for being unfaithful when I realised I couldn’t remain married to him. It’s two years since he cheated and I’m sure if I was still trying to save our marriage I wouldn’t have got to this point. I did it for me more than for him.To be able to let go of the anger and just move into the next stage of my life. Nothing shattering came from telling him. I made it clear that though I forgave him it would always be painful and I could not forget. I suppose it was a way of releasing myself from the suffering he caused.