Divorcing........still living in same house

[AJ29]

Hi - first time post, after some help/support please. Am going through a divorce, found out in July Husband was having an affair. He won't leave the house so am stuck in living hell with him. Court will take months and cost a fortune. Any words of wisdom please.

Take legal advice on whether you should move out -are there DCs? If they say ok and you can afford to then get out. I've been in this situation and it is not good for your mental health. Can you talk to him or his family and persuade him that the decent thing is for him to go? If the affair is likely to progress to a longer relationship he may see sense? So sorry for you, it's horrible.

Thank you for your response. I have taken advice and they emphasised that I should remain in the house. It's easier said than done. I'm not sure where I would go anyhow, and I wouldn't want to leave my teenage son. Hes all I have now. I have tried husbands family to no avail. They don't want to be involved. Husband is very aware of the impact on me, I don't recognise him now, not at all decent or caring. Yes its destroying my mental health and am going day to day. How long did your situation go on for ?

Yes unfortunately the general consensus seems to be remain. I look at the man I married and I don't recognise him either. You won't want to hear this,but over 6 years...Can you talk to him about what the hell he thinks will happen now? How is your son coping,must be awful for him as well.

have you consulted solicitor about the chances of getting an occupation order?

That long ! There’s no way I’ll last that long, that must be dreadful. My son is very aware of toxic atmosphere but trying so hard to look like it doesn’t bother him. He is a consomate diplomat, I feel awful that he has to go through this. I haven’t told him the reasons for the split - we just said the marriage was over etc. There has been no violence or abuse- solr intimated that some clients ‘stage’ a scene to get success with occupation order. I’m not up to that. Thanks though - it’s just good to hear I’m not being unreasonable- he tries to make me feel I am

Been there, done that, got the shitty tshirt.

Nearly 2 years now living together post 'end' and real end in sight.

Its horrible, but simple couldn't afford to move and continue contributing to mortgage and pay to rent. He refused to leave. Impasse.

There was a good 8 months before we actively started the legal prices which i naively thought would be over in 6 months and i would be moving on. I cannot believe how long it has taken for all the agreements ( financial and children) even when you think you've agreed things it just keeps taking forever.

What helps is basically living separately like housemates, only discuss things via email, separate holidays, separate finances, separate days put with kids etc. But i dont ever feel comfortable on my own home.

Typos, sorry!

He has as much right to live there as you do. Sorry but you do not have any special right to get him out of his home unless there is violence, which you've said there isn't. I suggest you go to mediation and work out a plan to separate. You might need to buy him out or vice versa, but get an agreed plan and timeline then you both know where you stand.