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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why is it so difficult

4 replies

Happyinheels · 21/10/2018 16:29

Why is it so difficult to end a relationship with an absolute clean break?
I've been dating a guy for nearly a year, he lives an hour away from me so we spend a lot of time messaging and FT. We get to see each other here and there in the week. Then every other weekend we have together.
There have been red flags over this time. Stuff that I've kind of ignored. He's become a big part of my life in many ways, been there through some really difficult times. Yet on the other hand he hasn't been here, in my daily home life. Over the past year I must have said to him that we're over about 5/6 times... I've found stuff out by accident about him, he's been secretive and lied (or avoided the truth!). There are things that I feel don't add up about him, particularly financially. If we have an argument he turns it all on me. He says I don't listen to him, that he's walking on eggshells and can't tell me how he's feeling because then I get angry with him (apparently!). We seem to see situations very very differently. 3 times he has displayed quite aggressive and extremely intimidating behaviour towards me.
And yet.
Yet we have a lot in common, the same interests and like the same stuff. We have fantastic banter, deep conversations, great sex, we do get each other on many levels and I feel like I'm more myself with him than I've been with anyone.
As I sit writing this I'm thinking to myself, I'm an intelligent and switched on woman! Why is it so hard to break free?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 21/10/2018 16:39

Why are you spending your precious weekends with this bellend instead of your children?

Happyinheels · 21/10/2018 16:53

@NotTheFordType every other weekend my precious kids are with their Dad...

OP posts:
Eatsleepworkrepeat95 · 21/10/2018 18:52

What were the main red flags?

Racmactac · 21/10/2018 18:59

You need to end it and block him.

Write down all the reasons you have ended it and every time you feel the urge to unblock and message it re read your list.

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