what does heartbreak feel like

[lornar123]

I recently broke it off with a guy who it's fair to say I was madly in love with, after I found out he had been shagging someone else.

I'm 28 and have never experienced anything like it. Whilst having dinner last night with my old boss they played the cranberries song linger and I was blubbering away, thankfully she was lovely and made me feel better. I recognised the deep longing for someone you thought the world. The confusion caused by a mix of longing and anger/hatred.

Wondering how other people felt in similar situations...had it said on another thread that my emotions were a sign of immaturity.

Doesn’t sound immature. No one can tell you how to feel.
But I agree with you it’s confusing, one second you miss them, another you hate them, you’re all over the place.
Time is the only thing that helps. It’s a cliche but the truth

You aren't immature.
Heartbreak is a grieving process. It hurts. Time will heal and make things clearer but just remember it's ok to cry and show emotion. It's ok to wear your heart on your sleeve. It's ok to be sensitive.
Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. It doesn't make you any more or less of a person.
You did the right thing breaking it off. It's good for you in the long run. Be proud of yourself.

In my case TOTAL FUCKING RAGE

This prick wasted 4 of my -probably- fertile years

I spent about 3 months being very angry, then I heard he had been hospitalised* and I felt so much calmer

*He ended up in hospital because he wouldn't wear his CPAP mask in front of his new girlfriend. I reminded him in week 1 (he left it when he packed most of his stuff) that he needed to wear it every night.

Like you can’t breathe, I had to keep moving all the time just to keep going. Second what someone else said about it being confusing too, I hate and pity him, but miss him and want him to be okay and for us to be friends. It gets easier, I’ve been through it a few times now and with age and experience I guess you realise / trust you WILL be okay again - even if it feels over whelming now. Be kind to yourself

It’s agonising. This all sounds very normal to me.
How do you find out he was cheating?

Bizarrely I felt it in my stomach, it was an ache and I didn't eat properly for weeks, lost a lot of weight and basically made myself very ill.

Infatuation is like a drug. There's a brutal comedown!

I ended up not eating, not sleeping.. basically a zombie mess. Couldn't stop crying every 5 minutes.

After about 2 weeks I started feeling better.

It's ok to give yourself time to grieve.

Should add "better" meant being able to eat and crying only every other day!

Heartbreak for me hurt. I had about half a second after waking up before remembering then the pain came back. It was all consuming. But then after a few weeks faded and I just felt much better. Positive, happy, normal!

For me, absolutely crushing physical pain. Mind numb. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. Anguish. It was fucking awful. Acerbated by a huge shock break-up. Didn’t see it coming at all. It had been a happy (if essentially doomed) relationship.

I’m fine now. Took a while mind.

I found out he was cheating because he was spotted with her, he then confessed. Got the whole it meant nothing spiel which sent me off on a terrible spin about whether it ever meant anything with me.

I think I have felt every emotion going to some degree or another from envy, longing for what I thought we had, anger, jealousy, great sadness, anxiousness..etc

I am starting to think that some people actually never experience these feelings ? Even friends who have gone thru divorce or a breakdown of an ltr I can immediately tell that some of them get it, and some just don't although they listen attentively.

I guess this is the risk we take...

@lornar123 you are lucky this is the first time you have felt heartbreak , I have felt it six times throughout my life and I'm 30 and it is a pain you feel in your stomach and heart and a reactive depression of the mind that also follows, it can make you suicidal

@lornar123 some people have no emotions obviously

I had a relationship for 10 years that ended, I felt awful but I don’t think it was heartbreak. If it’s shorter and more intense then the feeling of loss can also feel more intense. If a marriage ends it’s highly likely you’ve known it’s over for a long time. So it’s easier in a way. Someone leaving you for someone else is a whole other sort of pain.

Honestly it's painful. I lost two stone, still cry most days, suffer from increased anxiety and depression and can't trust anyone. It's been nearly two years for me now.

I was a blubbering mess. Everything that reminded me remotely of my ex I immediately when into some dark hole and started crying

It feels like you will never be happy again but you will

You need lots of distractions and good friends

I started going to the pub with friends, meeting new people, I even casually starting "seeing" a few guys (texting most days, occasional date) just to meet other men. The main thing is that your distracted though, stay busy and make sure you have people to vent to when you do feel shitty

I sympathise with the person who couldn’t stop moving, I just couldn’t sit still not could I eat properly and that’s bloody rare for me, a size 16/18!!

tamzinro



Nobody said you were immature for feeling hurt. People said you were immature as you were so consistently rude, belittling and spiteful to other posters regarding their life choices.

They said that it was unhealthy and indicative of low self esteem.