Dating a much younger man

[Gingerninj]

I met someone about 2 months ago, I was a few hours away from home on a busy train and we just started up a conversation with eachother. We really got on and after no time at all i felt like I'd known him for much longer than about half an hour. We realised we only live about 15 minutes from eachother and so exchanged numbers and planned to maybe meet up at some point. The day after we text for a bit and discussed that i have 3 kids and soon realised he's 21 and I'm 30. I'd assumed he was older, maybe 25 at the youngest but we got on well so we kept talking to see where this lead us. A few weeks later he asks me on a date and I say yes, i had a really good time and we end up going on two more, plus a few more casual meet ups during the day. It's going really well but I can't help but feel so old compared to him, he's closer in age to my daughter than to me. Sometimes it feels obvious to me that's he's so much younger and more immature, other times i forget

I would for fun but wouldn't get him involved in family life.

Yeah I couldn't see myself introducing him to the kids and the rest of my family, it would feel a bit odd

Honestly, no. I would run a mile. I am not into fwb situations and I couldn't settle with someone of that age.

Don't, it doesn't work long term, mine lasted 20 years then pissed off when I hit the menopause.

I would not recommend it either. Got burnt, and badly so. Took me a year to get over it.
I know it works for some people but it certainly didn’t for me. Good luck OP

it doesn't work long term, mine lasted 20 years

What's your definition of 'long term'? 2 decades sounds long-term to me!

Not all relationships need to be long-term anyway. There's nothing in the OP's post to suggest she's looking for a future husband.

madcatlady what a wanker

It's not a massive age gap. A bloke wouldn't give it a second thought of a woman was 9 years younger.

Mmmmdanone and I still wouldn't recommend it either.

Although, (and i get this isnt the ops situation) I never understand people who only date younger people. I am talking men or women. I know a woman who was married to a man she met when he was 23 and she 35. It was an horrendous marriage, not just because of the age but it played a part.

Now they have split she will only look at dating younger men again. She is in her late 50s, doesn't really like going out, only goes to bingo (which is fair enough) and is left wondering why younger men, in their 30s, aren't interested.

I can imagine many women in their 20s and 30s would be interested in a man who wants to only stay in or go to bingo, either.

She is a lovely lady, but would have more luck, looking at men her own age with shared interests. I know men who only date younger, and to be honest it would totally put me off a man if he said he only dated younger.

My dh is a similar age gap from me (21 when we met and I was 28). The difference is though that neither of us had dc. I think asking someone at 21 to take on a stepfamily is quite an ask. But the age gap wouldn’t worry me if you’re at similar maturity levels and want similar things in life. A decade of marriage and 2 dc later, we’re still very happy and the age thing isn’t a big deal anymore.

my dp is nine years my junior and we have weathered family and friends births, deaths and all the associated problems. We are currently parenting our teenager through various ups and downs which we deal with with lots of laughter and quite a few tears, go for it, if you are a good fit together it will work