NC for this.
So I'm 25 I've been with my partner since I was 15. So 10 years.
In this time the relationship was hard for four years I more a less chased him whilst he slept around wouldn't commit to me but I still clung to him being young and stupid.
So say we've been together properly since I was 19. He was quite controlling telling me who I could hang around with, who I can speak to, deciding which of my friends was good for me etc,
21 a baby was born we moved in together fully committed, he went on a lads holiday when our daughter was 6 weeks old left me struggling with pnd. I recovered he was okay, still controlling, 9 months later I was pregnant again . This time he left me for a year he came back when our son was around 6 months old no help with the pregnancy at all, no child support nothing in that whole time. When we got back together I had lost weight and felt amazing the comments of being fat and ugly started I had anxiety bad which I still suffer with now some days he calls me mental etc. He knows this triggers of my anxiety. I'm not allowed to have a girls night out if I try to he will threaten to attack me and hurt me, trash my house, etc he used to hit me, he's poured drinks over me, I will admit at one stage when he was doing this I left my children with him as he was a brilliant dad with them, it seems to be just me he has a problem with, and I met another man and was happy I did come home 3 days later as he was begging he would change and how much he loved me etc.
I'm now 25. He broke my nose in a drunk fuelled row in July this year. Since then he hasn't hit me but he has spat in my face, he still calls me awful names. I've never had the police or social services involved. We are still together as I thought he might calm down the breaking my nose was he icing on the cake and he seemed to calm down. But I am not happy no surprise really is it? My children are now toddlers and I don't like the environment for them as I constantly feel on edge around him even if he is happy it is short lived he tells me he loves me but makes me out to be this awful person if he shouts and calls me names and I be rude back it turns him madder. I know I need to kick him out and not take him back but I honestly don't even know where to start. He is my only serious relationship and I just feel very lost and anxious.