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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hit for 6.

5 replies

blumsycugger · 20/10/2018 20:42

I've been with my current GF for 14 months and most of the time, it's been great, we are very open with each other and I thought, had no secrets.....until today.
I've not been feeling good for a few days, tired, restless and a little pain when peeing, there are no external signs on me, no lesions or marks on my skin. I was almost screaming today when I had a pee, so got in the car and nipped to the local A&E, I waited for 30 minutes to be seen, I was with the consultant,who initially thought I might have cystitis, I've had cystitis and this was not like the pain of that, I gave another painful pee sample and after blood were taken, I had to wait for a while.
Eventually, as it was beginning to get dark, I was called back in, the doctor started using words that I didn't understand, but I was bombshelled with her possible and most likely diagnosis, she thought I might have genital herpes.
Now I'm and have always been very careful, have regular checks and apart from cystitis, which wasn't an STD, I've been clear of anything nasty. I got home, called my GF and told her, what she said next made me very angry, she decided to tell me that she'd caught genital herpes from an ex some 10 years ago. Last September, we both went to a clinic to be checked over and show there was no underlaying issues.
You could have knocked me down with a feather, I asked her why she hadn't told me, she replied, I forgot. I told her and said, "I need time to think about this", told her I'd call later, then rung off.

This is new territory for me and I feel dirty, cheated, conned, suspicious and untrusting of her, this has really rocked me and put me on the defence, I'm going to have to think about this and take a few days to consider my next move, at this moment, I don't feel like I want to be with her and that I should end the relationship.

Any advice please?

OP posts:
babycow38 · 20/10/2018 20:51

I'm so sorry you have a nice awful VD OP, you are in shock and need to put yourself first, first for treatment, first with counseling, first in that she didn't tell you. Genital Herpes isn't something you "forget" about when entering a new relationship, she owes you a massive appolgy and you need to look after yourself xxx

Wherearemymarbles · 20/10/2018 21:42

Its not something you forget.
It is something you try and hide. And hope you dont get caught out.

She lied.

puzzledlady · 20/10/2018 22:22

WHAT THE FUCK? dump her ASAP.

Sisterlove · 20/10/2018 22:32

She's a liar. She didn't forget to tell you. She withheld it from you deliberately.

I'd get rid of her, but I'd be so angry and want some kind of revenge.

Singlenotsingle · 20/10/2018 22:39

From what I've heard, the initial attack tends to be itchy, but after that first incident, you can find it never really affects you again. So whilst I can't see that she would forget it, if it didn't really bother her after that, she might have thought it wasn't important.

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