Earlier this year my best friend of 10 years was due to give birth to her second child (my Godson to be - or so I was told). She has endless trouble with her own family and in-laws (they’re horrible people) and can’t trust any of them with childcare.
Way before baby was due I offered to take time off work to look after my goddaughter during the time my friend was in hospital (as I knew they would struggle to find someone they could trust to take care of her). I didn’t want them to stress anymore than they needed to and they trusted me to look after her properly.
At the point of offering, I made it perfectly clear that I had 4 days booked off work to go away for a short break with my partner around the date she was due. I was upfront / clear about the dates I would be away and my friend knew for months before the birth that there was the possibility I might not be around when she went into labour.
Anyway... she was eventually given a date for her induction - which happened to be two days before we were due to go away for our break. Although she was worried about this, the doctor said the birth would likely be much quicker than her first (but this wasn’t guaranteed).
I booked the extra two days off work to look after my goddaughter as planned but the induction didn’t work. Both of the nights she was in hospital, they sent her husband home as nothing was happening and he came back to their house where I was looking after the little one.
The morning that I was due to go on our mini-break I gathered my stuff and came downstairs to find him getting my goddaughter ready for nursery. I asked whether he wanted me to take drop her off there on my way home so that he could get back to the hospital. He declined but asked me whether I could pick her up from nursery that evening and stay with her again that night - given that my friend was still in hospital.
I reminded him I couldn’t as I was going away that morning, at which point he offered to pay for the hotel and cover everything we’d spent if it meant I’d stay. I said I would have to speak with my partner, but as we’d booked a concert (a year in advance and one that we wouldn’t have the opportunity to see again) he probably wouldn’t be too chuffed (not forgetting my partner had also booked days off work to go away and would end up doing nothing with this time).
I asked my friends husband whether they could get anyone else at all to look after my goddaughter - he said noone that they could trust - apart from his boss and his wife. But he said my goddaughter didn’t know them and wouldn’t be happy in their company.
Anyway I made the decision to go away with my partner as planned and it turned out that my friend had a baby boy that afternoon. Her husband was able to be at the birth and pick my goddaughter up from nursery in the evening. She sent me a text the following day to tell me.
Anyway things haven’t been the same since. I really feel that a best friend wouldn’t have put me in that position, asking me to cancel plans I had made before she was even pregnant. She made no effort to arrange backup childcare in case I wasn’t there to look after my goddaughter and instead opted for luck - hoping that everything would work out. Her husband was shitty with me (and still is) for not cancelling my break away and putting them first. There’s been no reference made to a christening or the baby being my Godson (even though I know that they would have had him christened by now - like they did their first child).
I spent the majority of our break away feeling guilty and awful, questioning whether I had done he right thing. The concert I had looked forward to for over a year was ruined as they chose not to keep me updated, so I was constantly worrying.
I just feel like I haven’t been treated fairly. I’ve done everything to help and support them where I can previously, making my goddaughters christening cake to save them money, making table decorations for their wedding etc. She’s my best friend and I would have done anything for her previously but obviously We’re not as good friends as I thought. I would never have done that to her, regardless of my circumstances.
I understand a birth is a very emotional time and she would have been stressed to the max - but she had months to plan a backup but chose not to. Instead it was all put on me.
Thoughts? Am I in the wrong?