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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Rejected by both parents. Coping at Xmas

7 replies

lovely2008mum · 20/10/2018 15:48

Hello
I'm a happily married mum of 3 with a lovely husband and a good job. My in laws are divorced and remarried and busy but we do see them.

Basically my FOO is horrible. Lived with mother for years. When we attempted to move on she sued us and tried to get partial custody of our kids. She then did a smear campaign and turned her side of family against us. Not even given a chance to speak, people just cut us off. Not seen any of them for 4yrs. Mother he treated other family members inc her sister the same , sister thinks she is a sociopath

Dad was always close to but he says himself he is autistic. Anyway he met a new partner about 16yr ago. She refused to meet me/ us. Waited in car outside our house when he visited. Came to our wedding then refused to see us again. Dad just a wet blanket and allowed this. She has never met our 3 DC. Dad married her this summer and wanted the 3 DC as flowergirls. Decided at last minute we were uninvited (?) he asked to visit last month. I told him very upset about wedding and not heard from him since

Childhood was emotionally and verbally abusive. I had eating disorders, brother was addicted to dope & sister made 3 suicide attempts by 18. DM threw me out at 16 before AS Levels and was sexually abused by taxi driver. Police told DM and victim support (where she worked). DM never spoke of it with me.

Generally this is copeable with. In laws are nice, have s good life. Some aunts are in contact who are nice.

Been a sudden change at work - moved to a new team. Horrible feelings of rejection and never being good enough are coming out.

Feel like I'm becoming w burden to DH and wondered on anyone else's advice.

I've seen psychotherapist for trauma rewind which worked for short term panic/ overwhelm but wondered longer term if people had any advice eg CBT or something similar

Feel like this could snowball and don't want to damage my relationships with DH and children. Thanks

OP posts:
JessieLemon · 20/10/2018 16:24

You poor love.

How’s your self esteem after dealing with all of that? CBT really can work for improving low self esteem.

I can link to some excellent quality free self help CBT materials if you like to be going on with on your own. Maybe read through the first couple modules and see if it fits.

lovely2008mum · 20/10/2018 16:30

Hi Jessie
Yes thanks very much could you please?

Self esteem is through the floor, embarrassingly my manager at work has noticed and said need to think more of myself etc.

Just really don't want this stuff to send me off course, I hope I can overcome it some how until it becomes 'the past' and I hardly think about it (maybe wishful thinking)

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 20/10/2018 16:34

What is a FOO?

OneStepMoreFun · 20/10/2018 16:40

Hi OP,
I agree you need some support so this doesn't get worse.

A good free online CBT resource is
MoodGym You can also self-refer for free online CBT sessions one-to-one with a therapist on NHS if you are UK based. I did this and it was so so helpful. Just 5-6 sessions but they could be enough as you can focus on whatever you need to overcome.

JessieLemon · 20/10/2018 16:54

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Esteem

Here you go. I can really vouch for it!

ratspeaker · 21/10/2018 00:38

Lulu Family of origin

Although it can also be a name for ufos, the strange unknown, phenomenon sometimes encountered, which can almost describe some parents

LuluJakey1 · 21/10/2018 07:33

Thank you Rats. I'll know next time.

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