the girl he is with is an ex of his from around 14 years ago, they were engaged and ready to buy a house together but they split (i dont know why that was) so im thinking they might of fallen in love as they have history, its not like she is a random girl. she has come out of a 10 year marriage to someone around 5 months ago, her ex was an abusive alcoholic, they have 2 kids together (see how much i know about her, he tells me too much) i even know how much her rent is a month.
she knows he smokes weed, they have done it together, thats what our row was about when we were going to parents evening, i was concerned that if they moved in together, i didnt want my children to be around drugs, and i had reservations about there being a responsible adult in the house, he flipped and stormed off, again if he didnt tell me everything, i wouldnt know this. I know how tall she is, where she lives, that she goes uni doing nursing. how old her kids are and their names, all about her ex and that she is pretty amazing (all this without having to look on facebook).
im just hoping the conversation i had on saturday works, it will make it alot easier for me. I know i cant wave a magic wand, i know with time i will be better, and i also know if might take years to fully go, i am fully prepared for this, we are always going to be in each others lives, its how i manage it that will be important.
I plan to do some more exercise in the evening and more reading, and if i feel low at the weekend when he has the kids, i will take myself off to the gym, i will plan to do the room up in the new year as i need to save for Christmas. I plan to try and be happier on my own before i even think of another relationship.
i cant wait to be in control of my emotions and i cant wait for him to have no effect on me.
sorry i feel like i have waffled on