Just wanted to update and thank those who read my post the other day.
Those who offered advice and support it really helped and gave me the strength I needed.
After your advice, I finally spoke to my mum and told her everything. She was amazing as always, she was non judgemental and offered me her opinion on the situation. She hasn't told me to run or leave but also hasn't told me to stay. She has said she'll support me in any decisions I make. She noted that she felt he has been using alcohol to numb the pain of his mum's illness and that things have been escalating for a while now. She doesn't feel that this is something he planned or 'is him but that his mental health has been declining for a long time and this was the breaking point. I feel guilty that I haven't noticed or picked this up before, I'm his wife and should have noticed.
She suggested I have a honest and open but very difficult discussion with him about events leading up to and the incident itself. We have done this, it was very painful and heartbreaking for both of us. I won't go into the ins and outs. He was extremely honest and for the first time in 14 years he has really opened up about his thoughts and feelings. All alcohol has been removed from the house, he hasn't had a drink since that night.
He is getting help for the drinking and for his depression/anger/mental health. We are also going for marriage counselling and I'm on the waiting list for counselling.
I'm not sure where it leaves our furture, but I can't think that far ahead. I just have to take each day as it comes.
Now my mum is aware, it makes everything that little easier, knowing someone in the real world is there to support me.
Thank you again for those that took the time to offer advice and support. I know I have made the best desicion for myself and my children.