What's happened here?

[sjp101]

My DP started showing a very insecure side when we moved in together about 10 months ago. Not keen on me going to certain places, problem with me seeing certain friends. Not to the point he'd stop me but he let it be known he wasn't happy. At first I just reassured him and carried on but somehow overtime and without noticing, I've really cut myself off from people and barely go out without him anymore.
When I'd suggest doing anything back then, he'd make a big deal about us spending time together and I was confused as we lived together so we naturally were together a lot.

Now that I seem to have lost myself a bit, he could not be less interested. All he wants to do is play his PlayStation and when I mention going out now because I am bored of sitting upstairs alone (the game is downstairs in the living room) he suggests I come down and read my book.

When I now complain about the fact we spend literally zero quality time together (he's on from the minute he gets home to the minute he goes to sleep) he tells me I'm being needy and weird.

I realise some of the responsibly lies with myself here, I shouldn't have got myself in this position where I've lost the confidence to go out and see my friends to please him, but I honestly didn't notice it happening and now I am so shocked I've let it happen.

So whilst I accept some of the blame, has his behaviour been acceptable here or what? I ask as I sit upstairs after another night alone listening to him downstairs speaking to his friends online on the PlayStation.

He's totally in the wrong here op and you should make plans to leave him.
Please start building a life for yourself again and see if you can reconnect with your friends. Don't ever let a man isolate you like this again. I didn't see the message about a baby but bad plan to have one with this man

OP I was similar - H not a gamer but only wanted to do things he liked / socialise with his friends. I gradually stopped seeing mine except for the odd quick coffee. He was outgoing at the beginning but over the years, just wanted to go to the same shit pub and watch shit tv. I got bored and resentful, drank too much then he left me for OW. He will be love bombing her but it won't last- they don't change.

I was devastated at break up initially but I've reconnected (sorry for wanky speak) with friends who have welcomed me with open arms. I am now feeling excited about life again.

As someone said - you can be together but alone and you will be better as a lone parent than trying to parent him as well. I won't use the term co-parent as i suspect he will continue to be selfish and a bit shit.

Good luck - you can do this!

Firstly, well done for recognising that he's cut you off from everyone.

The next step is ending the relationship and moving out.

I had one of these and it took me 4 years of misery to get to where you are. Don't leave it that long, please. And don't think you can change him.

He's a classic abuser/controller.

You can do this. Ask your friends for help and they will be there for you. It sounds like they've got his number already.

So what now OP?
You know he's controlling.
You know he's abusive.
The relationship gives you absolutely nothing.
So it's time to end it.
Is the house rented or mortgaged?
Time to make your exit plan.
Get back in touch with friends and start going out as much as possible.
And once this is all over and you are free, please do the Womens Aid Freedom Programme to ensure you avoid abusive assholes like this in future.

The day started well, he made a plan with me for this evening. But now he's fell out with me because I've changed my picture on whatsapp and said I'm desperate for attention.

ATTENTION FROM WHO! I don't speak to anyone!!!!!

OP YOU NEED TO LEAVE. Your 'D'P is controlling and abusive. You are giving up your entire life for ONE PERSON.

Now ignore him.
He is sooooo bloody controlling it's unreal.
So what if you changed your pic?
Who put him in charge of what you do and what pics you use?
Surely you can see this?
If not then please speak to Womens Aid. They can help you see this for what it is. ABUSE!!!!!

If you are waiting for this guy to change into a loving, caring, respectful person then don't hold your breath!
He's isolated you from all your friends. He hogs your living space playing on the playstation so you're up in the bedroom. He;s a selfish bastard!!

What would you tell your friend if she were in the same position as you?!

He had not intention of doing anything with you this evening that why he manufactured an argument with you!
Welcome to his world of emotional abuse and manipulation.

You can stay and let him chip away at your self esteem until you are unable to see which way is up or you can tell him to fuck off and leave the nasty bastard before he really ups the ante and makes your life a living hell!!

he sounds like a complete moron

and he will be jealous of the baby

Wow...he’s having a go because you changed your whatsapp picture?? Are you serious? Pack a bag and leave! He’s abusive

Why is everyone going on about a baby? OP has NOT said she is pregnant.

@sjp101 please reach out to your friends as soon as possible. The real him is starting to emerge and he is going to get worse. Please start making plans to leave (and do it as soon as possible).

He didn’t want to go out.
He came up with a ‘reason’.
He’s not going to be an active parent if he can’t get off the sofa. Is he lazy in other ways?

op said last night she is pregnant and was planned

since been deleted,god know's why