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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend's Emotional Affair?

3 replies

Gypsyboy · 18/10/2018 19:39

My friend works with a man she's become quite close to. She's single, he has a fiance. They've always got on but in the last couple of months they;ve been working on the same project so they've spent more time together. I've just had her crying to me and I feel terrible for her and don't know how I can help.

She broke down and said although nothing physical has happened, they can feel an attraction, touch when talking etc, same taste/wavelength and quite the team work wise...She said till today she's not consciously been aware of what was going on and it came to a head when they had music on, were alone and they locked eyes and he moved her hair away from her face. She asked him what he was doing and he said he didn't know and should go. She said she didn't think he was about to kiss her but it was too much. It's been commented on to her by a couple of people that they get on well etc but the way it sounded to me was as if they were fishing for gossip

She's not really done anything wrong and surprised herself stopping anything that may have but its made her realise how much she likes him and how sad she is that it can never be anything but obviously knows that

I just feel so sad for her, its a horrible situation to be in and she has to work with him (no changing that). The only thingI could suggest was that she should try and be as professional as possible, no personal stuff etc

OP posts:
supersop60 · 18/10/2018 19:43

She should read "Not just friends" by Shirley Glass (I think). It gives advice on how to distance yourself, among a lot of other stuff.
In the meantime, she should make sure she is never alone with him, and keep any conversations professional. Small steps and poor decisions could lead to disaster.

Gypsyboy · 18/10/2018 19:59

Is that for the 'wife' rather than the OW (sort of)? She said she don't think he realised either. She's in a really crappy situation as he's a manager and they do get on well naturally and she can't tell him to stay away from her.

OP posts:
busybarbara · 18/10/2018 20:38

If they at least acknowledged it he might leave his fiance for her

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