Gut feelings in friendships

[rareflowergirl]

Have you ever met a person and instantly felt something wrong about them? You don't know why you don't like them. But, you just don't want to be their friend.
Did you listen to that feeling even though it didn't make sense?
Did you ignore it? If so, what happened?
I met someone recently- a friend - a woman. Something not right about her. The funny thing is I don't know why or what is it about her that made me feel this way. Very sweet girl, as friendly as can be. But, something scares me about her. Just met her once.
What should I do?

I've met loads of people I get really bad vibes from. They were normally actually fine.

Have you got a ddog you can take along? My ddog is a very good judge of character.

Yes this happened to me last year and was such a surprise. It was the oddest thing as until meeting in person I thought we’d be great friends. It was like two opposing magnets and she made me uncomfortable. What’s the story OP?

Yep I get this feeling off some people but I'm terrible with first impressions.
What is it about her that scared you? Did she remind you of someone else maybe?

Yeah, and I usually listen to it.

What happened OP?

Yup. Have experienced this myself and on more than one occasion. Waves of disgust. I've always been right. In many cases, I went against my gut and got raped for my troubles.

Bottom line. Always trust your gut. Always.

Listen to your instinct, always, always do!

Although I think I'm quite intuitive, I very rarely get feelings like you're describing. Sometimes I know I'm making it up because I'm having a bad day. Other times it's very clear it's instinct. Other times I don't know. I've not got on the plane to a dream holiday before now, because of a very clear instinct when I was checked in and waiting to board telling me not to get on that plane. I listened to it, I was very upset, I lost £800 and I still don't know of any reason for that voice in my head. I don't regret it though. It is a gift we humans don't usually listen to, and if we get it then 100% listen and respect it.

Always trust your gut.

I have had gut instincts about people that I have ignored and I've lived to regret it. Sometimes you can get the wrong first impression though. I would just be very wary.

Trust your gut feeling. I met a very chatty lady at a local playgroup when we first moved to this area.. something. Wasn't right. I felt like she was lying or covering something up. I was right! Turns out her partner was a complete bent bloke and had been inside for years for supplying serious quantities of drugs and she was also involved but escaped prison 😱I'd dropped her by then but I've been very cautious about making friends since.

Once or twice, with clients. Both very young women.

Ive work with plenty of men on the anti social spectrum but never been affected like this before. I was literally afraid to turn my back on her on the way to the door!

I have had this and in a few cases I was wrong!

Yes and we have been friends a long time now over 20 years BUT she is very selfish and unfortunately has had a very hard time. I do feel for her but it's take take take.

So should I have listened to the gut feeling - probably !

Yes. Always trust your insticts. I often find shifty, untrustworthy people magnetic for some reason so i know how hard it can be to distance yourself.

I used to.
But not so much now.
I find not second guessing people works Better for me now.

How is she your friend if you have only met her once? Or have I misunderstood?

I know if I'm going to get along with someone or not as soon as I meet them.

I would actually say I am able to tell if someone is an ok person or not as soon as I meet them. Only time I've been wrong is ex.

When younger, I occasionally made the mistake of ignoring that feeling, I don't now.

I say trust your gut. I don't think that's "woo" I think it's just that we pick up on subtle clues (one of these is now believed to be micro-expressions, but certainly body language, more subtle verbal language choice, tone of voice even how someone smells!).

There WILL be a reason your body/mind is saying don't trust this woman - so don't trust her!

There's a saying from the book 'the gift of fear' by Gavin de Becker along the lines of 'never trust your gut unless it tells you to run'. Based on info from 'almost victims' of serial killers, and also of other people who thought a psychopath was fine on first meeting. But of course, unless the particular serial killer your run from gets caught, you'll not know if your gut was right - and without that feedback you trust and listen to it less, and so it stops working.

So I run when my gut tells me, to show it I'm listening. And if it doesn't say 'no', I still move forward at an appropriate rate and don't jump into living together etc too soon

What do you mean, what should you do? You met her once? You didn’t like her. Don’t see her again.

Thanks for all the answers people! Sorry for the late reply.
I did meet her randomly near my uni. She has a job somewhere else. I just had this feeling of fear as soon as she suggested to hang out. Now, I know it is a gut feeling because someone above mentioned in their answer they had waves of disgust-that's what I felt-waves of fear.
Decided to trust those feelings. Hence, I won't be seeing her again.

I do occasionally get bad vibes and usually trust those feelings.