How did you go about moving out

[TheInterWeb]

If you separated from your wife/husband, and had children, how did you go about it?

House is small and I would have to move out but I can't move out straight away as my son would come with me and it would take a while.

So do I just set camp in the living room and tell my son what exactly? DH wants us together so he is happy to bed share, I am not.

Not to drip-feed, sexless marriage, constant arguments, just exhausted of the constant trying and have given up. He is happy to continue for our son as "everyone will be miserable if we split"

I am miserable now and I don't think my son should be exposed to this constant fighting.

Do I stay here because it will be easier for everyone and my son could stay in this area close to his dad? I get that we must make sacrifices as parents but...

So. How did you deal with the practicalities of separation please? Love is long gone.

I would suggest you arrange an appointment with a solicitor to discuss the best options for you. Before the meeting gather together as much information as you can about your financial affairs. Equity in the home, pensions, savings, debt as well as your respective incomes. Perhaps think about what you want as the best outcome in terms of the financial settlement in the long term as well as what you want in the short term, which by the sounds of it is independent living.

Suggest you husband does the same. You can then agree on mediation to work out the fine details to reduce reliance on solicitors. Initial consultations with solicitors are useful but doesn't mean you need to embark on an expensive legal battle.

I wouldn't be surprised if you are advised not to move out and that your husband is to. Staying put has long term advantages but can be painful for you both. A good solicitor will advise you on various options and let you decide what you want. But they need to know what your priorities are.

@LemonTT thank you so much for all the information!
Oh ok, I did look into mediation as first step and both being quite fair but it is tricky for me because we don't own our home and it is provided by DH's employer whilst we are here, so I could not stay here with my son as he has to live here as his job is linked to the home.
I just resigned my job so no income for me, no debt, no property but yes to savings, which in all honesty were mostly earned by him pre- marriage so I do feel a bit bad taking some or half of those, but I did take a big hit in earnings staying home to care for our son.

Ideally I wanted to separate first, give that a go before talking divorce, but I just can't see how to go about giving that big first step of moving out.

I guess solicitor it is

Ok, it could make things easier or not, but see a solicitor anyway. If you have no income and there isn't much capital you may end up being financially tied for a time. In the meantime there are financials to be agreed even if you are just separating. Also check benefits etc.

One appointment with a solicitor doesn't mean you can revert to mediation, it just makes you better prepared. The courts and CMS are there to sort out stuff as a final resort if you can't agree. But a lot of people can and do make their own arrangements that are fair and meet the needs of the children /parents.

Thank you so much @LemonTT ! I will talk to him and look into a solicitor for myself and suggest for him.
Yes there would be finances to sort out because we were both earning similar wages but I took maternity leave and a career break to care for our son and then dropped to part time and now jobless so I am in a bit of a crap place financially