How to help a friend

[Thadeus]

A friend of mine has reached out after coming to the end of her tether.
It turns out that her fiance, who she lives with, is being verbally abusive when he has been drinking and has hit her.

She has a friend that she works with who has offered her a bed for a few nights and i think she will go there tonight.

What does she do from here?

Of course she says she loves him and i have suggested that if he is prepared to get help to sort his problem out then it doesn't have to be the end.

She leaves the bastard.

If her line isn't a man hitting her then where the fuck is it? Him beating her regularly? Him eventually murdering her?

He needs help yes but she shouldn't be hanging around to take a beating when the help isn't working quick enough or he has a relapse.

Drinking isn't an excuse for being a physically abusive piece of shit I'm afraid!

What I would do/have done as a friend includes telling them repeatedly that it's not okay that he spoke to her like that. It's certainly not okay that he hit her either. I wouldn't be placating with not the ebbs of the line nonsense wording, because even with appropriate intervention the success rates of him changing are very low, and why on earth would you want your friends to go back to an abusive arsehole whose behaviour will likely only get worse?

She needs to speak to Women's Aid for advice and support.

She needs to leave for good.

He will not change. Her staying with him should not be subject to him changing. She would be in serious danger.

If they split up and a year or two down the line she can see he's had help and is absolutely convinced he's safe to be with then she might consider being with him but under no other circumstances. Chances are that by then she will have come to her senses and never want to see him again.