Feeling very lonely

[Jules019]

I’ve recently split with a partner who I was on and off with, it wasn’t a long term relationship however it was very toxic.

I’ve recently moved to a new area and am feeling a little better being away from him, however I can’t cope with the loneliness. It’s not just that we’re no longer together, it’s just general loneliness I can’t deal with. I don’t know anybody in the area and I don’t have a great deal of opportunities to meet people due to various reasons.

I also feel as though I’m awful at making friends. I never know where to start, what to talk about so I do almost everything alone or with my DD but it is such an isolated world to be in. My family live a great distance away so it’s not as though I have them around either.

Not sure what I’m trying to get at really I’m just feeling very down about it all lately :( would love to just have some company and some healthy friendships but feel as though this is never going to happen!

Try Meetup or something like that?

You sound very down on yourself, but don’t be! Firstly, you’ve done so well getting out of that toxic situation! Give yourself some credit.

Making friends takes time, focus more on what hobbies you enjoy. Are there any activities on near you? Do you work? If so, is there anyone there who you trust and could get on with?

I'm sorry you are feeling down OP, have some

Easier said than done I know but try to relax and believe that things will develop in time to ease your loneliness. Having your DD is a blessing not only because of her company but also because you will meet people through her. Literally all my friends where I am now came via the children - the kids are all flown, but the moms (and some dads) are all still friends!

And Mumsnet is bloody marvellous for keeping you in the loop with thoughtful and kind people. It's seen a fair few people through lonesome times, I'll be bound.

I understand exactly where you're coming from, my partner and I have just separated and although I know a few people in this area it seems the couple of people who I did class as good friends really aren't at all.
It is lonely but I guess I try to keep myself busy with my kids and horse. But school and daycare days are the worst, have way to much time on my hands to think about all the stuff I really need to push aside

OP you sound lovely!

I went through a similar stage on my own when moving to a new place. I look back on it now and can’t believe I coped as well as I did and also remember some of the down days I had...crying in Tesco loos had to be a low point when I felt I was wandering round the shop in the middle of loads of couples!

One thing that helped me was getting into a soap and other tv. I know that sounds trivial and of course you need to get out there and chat to people if you want company and friendships, but I did find watching ongoing episodes of something engaging did help late at night when getting into bed alone.

As for making friends, I met my best friend in a queue at Sainsbury’s! We just started chatting and I actually said I’ve just moved here and she seemed a similar age so I said I felt like I didn’t know anyone. She met for a coffee and 4 years later we speak most days.

Try and stay positive. Loneliness is awful but focus on yourself as much as you can and day by day your new place will feel more familiar and most importantly you will recover from that toxic relationship.