Rock Bottom

[Nowhereelsetogo90]

Hi

Nowhere else to write and I’m really struggling so just looking for any advice at all really! A few weeks ago my partner broke up with me unexpectedly. We had been together for over a decade and I thought things were ok. I’m late twenties and he’s a few years older. No DC. Within days I discovered he’s moved onto someone new, who he claims he met after we had broken up. Obviously I don’t believe this.

I’m trying to move on, been out with friends and even on a couple of dates but I just feel so lonely and lost. I’m on medication already for mental health problems so can’t even ask for more anti depressants as I’m not allowed to up my dose. I feel constantly sick, can’t sleep, and the thought of returning to work in a few days terrifies me.

Everyone tells me time heals and I do believe it but I don’t know what to do to get out of this hole and start moving forward.

Oh OP

I have been where you are. Right now it feels like the end of the world. I promise you it isn’t and you will get through this.

In the short term, it’s ok to be sad - let it out. Focus on small things you enjoy. Perhaps things that you enjoy but your partner didn’t - I remember binge watching trash TV because my ex hated it! If you don’t feel like eating, make sure you drink sugary drinks to help keep your strength up.

Also don’t feel pressured to “move on” - everyone heals in their own time. It’s only been a few weeks and it obviously came as a shock. Don’t be so hard on yourself x

Returning to work may be just what you need. Occupying your mind on something else, moving on with life.
If you are feeling constantly sick maybe you should talk to the dr in case it is related to the medication.
You are lucky that you had no DC with this man, and even though you can't see it now you will be ok. You will meet someone else. You will be happy again.
For now just believe that it will happen and take one day at a time. Day to day worries only. Shopping, cooking, working, tidying up (my house was never as tidy as straight after splitting with my ex). One day you will wake up and realise that you feel better.
In the meantime be kind to yourself.

You have dodged a bullet.. He is dishonest. Hope you are feeling better today.

Time does heal. But it takes a while.
You are currently grieving and you have a way to go before you are out of the other side of that.
You are doing everything right.
Apart from the dating. You are not ready for that.
We all do it but it's way too soon.
Keep busy. Keep going out with friends and accept all support from your family.
Being back at work will help as well.
So so sorry you are going through this.
But it absolutely will get better.

You are doing the right thing. Take time for you to rebuild confidence. If it doesn't open it's not your door. There is obviously a better plan for you in the future although it won't feel that way just now.

He's almost certainly had the new one on the go for a while. It's a grieving process and you'll have all those emotions to go through - jealousy, sadness, bitterness, anger and so on. Just try to keep busy and surround yourself with friends and family. It just takes time to pass, especially after a long relationship. Sometimes moving to a different area/town/city is an easy way to move on.