At the beginning of the year, I took a inwternal transfer at work. Moving into a new position and team.
I’ve been lucky to have settled well into the new role and make good rapports with my new colleagues...
My line management, directed me towards a male colleague who had been with the team the longest for support in this new position.
To cut a long story short; as the months progressed, we became close. As it can do, banter turned into flirting and eventually lead to some explicit messages being shared between us outside of work. And discussions of making our relationship physical. But we chose not to act, and continued with our professional relationship.
It has at times been difficult, as I’ve tried to distance myself from him. Which he has in the past interrupted as me ‘treating him differently’ to colleagues. As the months have gone on, I have realised that I do have feelings for him. But being married and with a young child, I do not wish act on them. And the signals I’ve received from him have not been clear, as to whether he feels the same way.
A couple of weeks ago, he and another colleague were engaging in banter with myself. Doing their best to provoke me. And in a moment of misjudgment, I playfully hit him (too hard) on the back. I immediately knew that I had done it too hard, that I rubbed his back and apologised profusely. He seemed to take it in good spirit and even joked about it for the remainder of the day. I still felt bad, so in the evening I text him to apologise again, and acknowledge that I had done it too hard and wouldn’t do it again. He did not reply to this.
A couple of days later, I received a phone call from my line manager to say he had made an official complaint about me. With regards to the incident and behaviour towards him.
I was completely taken a back, and devastated. I can’t understand why he has done this? It is currently being investigated by HR. And we have been separated in the meantime. I can’t make sense of why he didn’t confront me, and what he’s hoping to achieve?