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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating?? am i paranoid?

11 replies

Blueheart26 · 17/10/2018 13:19

Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 4 years he has in that time talked to other women, added random girls liked their provocative pictures and taken mobile numbers, but recently I found out hes been talking with an ex discussing our personal stuff with her, and very uptight about his phone he won't ever give it to me, i asked for it the other day and he refused to give it to me, he just shouts at me, he wont have me on social media, and hides his friends list and everything is private, he tilts his phone away from me when he looks at it also, and spends a lot of time in the bathroom with it, he comes home late like 12.30am sometimes and doesn't text call or let me know where he is, he thinks he hasn't got to do this, and hes been very up and down lately and snappy with me, like I feel im in the way of something he wants to be doing, he's also become very aggressive and has been physical recently, I know I should leave I just can't kick myself up the butt to do it. I am so sad, and depressed about it all, I truly thought he loved me, we have a house together also, which makes it all even harder :(

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 17/10/2018 13:26

This is such a sad story. I read this a lot on here: women will take all kinds of abuse and beatings but being cheated on seems to be the one thing they won't put up with.

thethoughtfox · 17/10/2018 13:27

Why would you think he loves you?

Dard · 17/10/2018 13:29

Get out before you have children do not waste anymore of your life on this man he will just grind you down.
You cant trust himxxx

Hideandgo · 17/10/2018 13:30

Things won’t get any better till you leave him. He’s cheating on you and physically abusive. He’s not a good man. Not a good partner. Not good for you. Can we help you leave?

Notacluewhatthisis · 17/10/2018 13:36

What difference does It make if he is cheating? Sorry to sound harsh, but you stay with him despite him treating you like shit. You are likely to stay if he is cheating too.

Why would that be the reason you go?

Obviously you should leave. Is don't think him cheating is the main issue.

Blueheart26 · 17/10/2018 14:09

he is so good at manipulating me and making me feel sorry for him, my head is a mess, a huge mess, I have mental issues as it's just hard not knowing what's right or wrong anymore, and I'm so scared of starting again and to be alone, I want to leave but mentally I am so weak. :(

OP posts:
meowimacat · 17/10/2018 14:24

There is nothing scary about being alone. I wish people could see that sometimes being alone is the BEST thing for you. So you'd rather be with someone who won't even add you on his social media after 4 years of being together? 4 YEARS??? You are a secret. He doesn't want all the women he has cheated on you with over the 4 years to know about you and you have gladly gone along with it.

Stop feeling scared about being alone and start feeling scared about a miserable life with this monster. So he gets physical now too? Is that the type of role model you want for a baby? If you two move in together and have kids, do you think that will be a good environment.

Don't feel sorry for him, feel sorry for yourself and the life you will have if you stay with him.

Adora10 · 17/10/2018 14:26

Wow, honestly OP, you need to wise up the guy is an absolute shit, he's doing his best to treat you like utter shit, get out, do not be scared to be on your own, you are anyway, while he lives a second life with OW!

Chocolate123 · 17/10/2018 14:30

Cheating or not he's a bully it's time to go

Mix56 · 17/10/2018 14:41

If he's not cheating, he wishes he was
This can only get worse.
Stop it, Get some self respect, you will feel so much better afterwards

Lifeisabeach09 · 17/10/2018 20:48

He is cheating or has done.
He clearly has no respect for you.
Don't waste anymore time with him. Do not have children with him.
Dump him.

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