Hello. I would like some objective feedback, I guess. I am not able to trust my own instincts anymore. I have always been something like an "active introvert" - I like to do things and be active, but I also require a lot of alone time to process my feelings and my thoughts etc. I have had difficulties during my childhood and young age to be as active as I would like (low self-esteem due to not enough children around me or none of them wanting to spend time with me etc), but I finally found my self-esteem, courage and positivity and thus the perfect balance of activities and alone time during the past 4-5 years (I am becoming 29 very soon). I became very happy, rather confident, willing to meet new people and try new things, stand for myself etc.
I have had basically no long-term relationships. I found one a bit more than a year ago. We also live together for the past two months. And we seem to have different ideas of alone vs together time. I feel like he expects too much from me, but I also already feel that what I want might even be wrong and not possible in a relationship?
He had a five-year relationship before me, which was rather awful during the final year according to him. I found out only recently that it actually ended officially only month or two before meeting me. He has basically no friends (or at least does not basically communicate with them - claiming they do not have time for him - had friends years ago), he does not interact with his family much (claiming his brothers are too busy, his mother-father can manage on their own etc) and he has no hobbies (though he had a few years ago, but now he claims he does not know what to choose and if he has decided something, none of these activities are on suitable time or "all the other participants are probably this or that and I would not like them").
So. I have a few groups of friends (some of them live rather far away) and I meet wiht each of them maybe couple of times a year (so on average I meet with some friends once per month, sometimes more-sometimes less).
I also have my hobby - belly dance. I go to training classes twice per week after work. I also practice at home (while he cooks or watches tv or so). I had previously stage performances on average once per month, sometimes even more. I have cut down the number to around once per two months due to my boyfriend. Each performance usually require additional rehearsel in training class. I have also cut down other interactions with my training mates - like photoshoots or other projects (which I really miss, I feel like I soon will be somehow excluded from these interactions or so, they do not even bother asking me anymore to join).
However, I have started to belive that these activities (which I have already have cut down) are too much - well okey, he can live with that arrangement currently (after discussions), but if I want more - like spend time alone or run my errands by myself or have additional meetings with my friends or go to some event by myself or whatever - then I get the impression that it is too much ("I want to spend more time with you, we do not have enough time together, I do not want to wait until our old-age until we can spend some time together" - I have heard all this statements previously from him and now I'm so scared already to ask any more "my own things to do" and I have started to belive that indeed I give him too less time. But in my heart, I feel that I want even more things to do by myself, to be engaged more in my previous interactions etc, and most of all - to have some private alone time in our apartment (he rarely goes out without me.. because he has nothing to do!). Is it like reasonable? If I want to do more things separatedly - is it objectively possible, reasonable or am I really being selfish? I really feel currently that he always demands my attention and I cannot pursue my own things and therefore - I do not have anything left to give or offer to him. I have no enthusiasm or happinness in me anymore, so I am just not able to love anymore. As I understand, for him, it is very important to just spend time together..