Desperately lost right now...

[desperateguy]

I am considering breaking up with my girlfriend of 4 years. However, I am desperately lost right now and don’t know if I am making the right decision.

First, the issue I have is that I know my girlfriend has no one else in her life. She has no friends and a lot of the time her family treat her badly and so if I leave her she will be on her own and the idea of this hurts me so much because I really care about her.

However, the reasons I am considering breaking up with her is as follows:

• She has mood-swings a lot and it makes me feel like I am walking on eggshells
• She has very little social/conversation skills and no real hobbies or interests to speak of so conversation is mostly restricted to what we might eat for dinner.
• She sometimes acts aloof and walks past me when I am trying to talk to her like I am not even there (I might just say hi, what are you up to?… blank*)
• She gets bored very easy - and complains when I don’t do things with her. However, when I encourage her to take up a new hobby or join the GYM or something (to give her something to do) she won’t even entertain the idea
• She has no drive to improve herself - won’t get a job or even study. So for the last two years, I have been using my student loan to look after us both.
• She does nothing to try to improve our relationship – so we might be having a problem and a bit of an argument (like most couples, I guess) but she offers nothing in terms of solutions and I now feel like it’s my full-time just to keep the relationship a float
• She seems unhappy – with her life in general and our relationship, I have tried to talk to her about both because I want her to be happy, however, when I ask her about it she says she still loves me and want to stay in the relationship (but to me her actions seem to point to something else)
• I have talked to her about cutting ties and going our separate ways, however, she acts very nonchalantly, like she does not really care if we break up or almost takes the relationship for granted, which makes me ask, why does she want to stay with me if she is so unhappy? Or is it something else?

Sorry about the long post guys but the whole thing has my head completely wracked, so I would really appreciate some feedback.

you spoke to her, you did your best, i think its time to take care of yourself and leave this wrong relationship. you cant carry her all your life.

You are not responsible for her happiness. Do yourself the biggest favor of your life and get out of this miserable relationship.

Life is way way way too short for this kind of shit.
You aren't happy.
She isn't happy.
What is the actual point of the relationship.
Her happiness is her responsibility. Not yours.
Please do yourself a huge favour and end this torture.

The reason she doesn't have anybody, is her own fault by the sounds of it.

It seems like she doesn't like you but is happy for you to finance her life.

She sounds very depressed. Is she being treated for it?

You can break up now or later. The relationship is over either way.

Yeah I agree with PP here. It sounds like it's over already. Sounds like she's already emotionally checked out.

Depression could be the answer but you are not responsible for that. She needs to recognise it for herself and get herself better.

Maybe later on, when she's happier within herself, you guys can try again. For now though, it sounds like she's just plodding through the motions and not really in it.

She sounds depressed, has she been to the GP? That sounds bad to be honest, she might not seem like she cares about anything but it sounds like she is very depressed from what you describe. If you leave, be kind, talk to her again, tell her what you have said here.