Naked pics

[tntruth]

I will first admit that I was totally wrong to go through my partners phone late last night as he slept. I know the password as he once told me it's the same as his atm pin, which he gave me.
We have been together over a year.
Well I found nothing- except a WhatsApp chat with a woman from 2016, way before we met.
In the chat the woman sends sexual pictures in underwear and she's topless but hiding her boobs with her hands. They look professional and after a quick Facebook search I found out she used to be a model at the time they were chatting.
Also the conversation gets very personal as she discloses that she was sexually abused 😢 and he offered to be someone she can talk to. At this point I realised they probably didn't have sex as in the last message he tells her he's home alone (he was living with his parents at the time) and she replies with "good for you".
He could have deleted the rest but my issue is why is he keeping this chat? and the pictures??
We are very serious, just moved in together, talking about a baby next year, etc.
What do I do???

Must say I don't know why I was snooping. We haven't had issues so far. I was married and it cheated on a lot by my ex husband so maybe that's why.

So this is 3 years ago and no interaction since?

That wouldn't particularly worry me but what made you look

You must have suspicions?

Keeps the pics as wank fodder ....pathetic ego boost?

It’s before you met and nothing happened. He didn’t even get a peek of nipple. He probably hasn’t given the chat a second thought - if you had anything to worry about he would have deleted it along with anything else he didn’t want you to see.

I know you’re probably a bit shaken but this model might have fancied him a bit but he’s now in love with you, and looks like he’s totally faithful. Enjoy him and keep your chin up.

In the kindest possible way, get a grip. She isn't actually naked in the picture, you don't think they had a sexual relationship and it all happened before you met him. So he hasn't deleted the picture, big deal. You're issues from your previous relationship are not an excuse to justify snooping or accusing your partner. If you can't resolve your issues you're not ready for a relationship yet.

He's allowed to keep whatever he wants on his phone. In the same way that a lot of people keep their first wedding photo album even if they are now in a second marriage, or letters from first boyfriends.

He had a life before you. He doesn't have to erase it.

Just looked in my WhatsApp. I have conversations on there that are years old. Just never bothered deleting them. Never look at them. Never even think about them and wouldn't have looked if it wasn't for this post.

He gave you his pin and you abused that. Either you have suspicions and don't want to admit it, or you have no problem going through someone's private stuff.

If I were him I would be furious.

Jesus you sound controlling, believing that you have any right to say what he can and cannot keep from before you even met, invading his privacy and generally being disrespectful of him. If I was him I'd walk away from you, you clearly have trust issues from the past and he deserves someone who will not behave like this. Sort yourself out before you get into a relationship.

I have loads of photographs and messages going back years: I don’t go through and delete entire swathes of my history every time I meet somebody new (it wouldn’t even occur to me, and it’s entirely likely he’s forogtten he still had this chat saved, I would have), and I think it’s an unreasonable expectation for you to have. It doesn’t appear that he’s spoken to her in three years. I mean this kindly, but you need to explore with yourself why your partner having a past is so problematic for you.

Yep same as the others. I have never deleted any chats... they just go further down the list. I wouldn’t even think to delete something from three years ago if I got into a relationship!

Seems unlikely he's keeping one very tame pic to wank over, but maybe for kind of nostalgia reasons?
Either way, it was before your time, so nothing to do with you.

I don't know why I was snooping
If you had some suspicions then it wouldn't be quite so bad.

You could have asked him to show you his phone, you chose to do it covertly for apparently no reason. Does he deserve to be with someone with no regard for is privacy, who has issues with things that happened before this relationship? He really ought to know what you have done before making the decision to start a family with you.

Ugh I had this before - I don't go through and delete chats, ever. If the pic is in his camera roll, bit of a different story, or if he has deleted lots of other chats with people except that one.

Other than that... I think you are being OTT and were unrightfully snooping. Doesn't sound like he's done anything wrong.

No, I haven't deleted anything from any apps either. Hopefully all of us who haven't deleted anything are reassuring.

I only delete stuff if I run out of space and sometimes with a new phone it uploads lots of old WhatsApp stuff. I don't get why you snipped and I don't get why you're upset over something quite tame that happened years ago and there's been no interaction since, especially since you've been together. I'd be pretty pissed off if I was your oh

Wank bank tbf

Talking about a baby next year and your snooping through his phone. I think you need to get your issues dealt with before any baby is conceived.

I think obviously your previous relationship has left you very cautious of your partners, so in the nicest possible way, I do think you need to try and address them first.

If I were your partner I would be livid and it would set alarm bells ringing for me. I wouldn't "snoop" through my hubbys,phone and we have been together 15years, it's a respect thing.

He probably doesn't even know it's still there? I've got what's app chats from 2015 & with ex boyfriend, opened it up & it's stuff my now partner 100% wouldn't want to read but it's never occurred to me untill this post to scroll back that far?

Don't think babies should be on the agenda if you feel the need to snoop & also don't see why you would be annoyed at a chat that you shouldn't have even seen & was before he was with you? Odd

I've got WhatsApp's from old boyfriends on my phone. There are a few kinky conversations - never thought to delete them and I would be pretty pissed off if my new guy started snooping through.

Nobody deletes WhatsApp conversations except specifically to hide them, surely? I honestly wouldn't worry about the fact he still has it.

Well I delete my WhatsApp because my phone is shit and runs out of storage.

I would not be worried about this but I'd be worried what made you snoop in the first place?