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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Wife too focused on work?

15 replies

Standard5050 · 17/10/2018 00:55

My wife has just finished working at home gone 12 midnight. I cooked tea, took the weekly shop delivery walked the dog , cleared up put kids to bed. She moans about tomorrow gets me wound up and then falls asleep. Leaving me awake and thinking something is wrong in our relationship. What does this sound like to you? Any comments observations?? Thanks

OP posts:

DianaT1969 · 17/10/2018 07:40

So you both work full time outside the home and she leaves all the chores to you every evening? Most evenings?
Does she do her fair share of family tasks at other times? Any reason why she needs to work late for her job? Promotion looming, new job, big project on, extra money for the family?
I'm sure she'd rather switch off and walk the dog, or chill in front of the TV once the kids are in bed.

Quartz2208 · 17/10/2018 07:46

Sounds like she is really busy at work is it normally like this

Hopoindown31 · 17/10/2018 07:49

Is this a regular thing?

Cupoteap · 17/10/2018 07:53

Who got the kids up and ready? Who placed the food order?

subspace · 17/10/2018 07:57

It sounds like insufficient information.

How often does this happen?
Has it changed recently?
Has she got a big project/deadline at work?
Who normally does the shopping, puts kids to bed etc?

Gazelda · 17/10/2018 08:15

It really depends on how often this happens. If it's frequently, then her work life balance is way off and she needs to address this for her health and for the family. If it's a rare occurrence, then I'm sure she appreciates your support and that she'd do the same for you if you had a work deadline to deal with.

ravenmum · 17/10/2018 08:29

Is she a teacher?

Atalune · 17/10/2018 08:31

Not enough information.

Try again

thethoughtfox · 17/10/2018 08:33

You have a hardworking wife. Where do you see the problem?

BundyLancroft · 17/10/2018 12:14

Wow, you did all that domestic stuff and childcare ?

And you are a man.

Here, have a medal, OP

LanceStatersGold · 17/10/2018 12:35

It sounds like she’s working bloody hard to ensure she contributes financially, and believes and trusts that you are more than able to look after the children and put the food in the cupboard etc.

But without more information, such as whether you’d worked all day too or if she’s only done an hour from 11 to midnight etc it’s quite hard to know what you’re really asking...

hallenties · 17/10/2018 21:41

Why are people attacking the OP, maybe because he’s male?

If this were a woman asking this then I think there would already be suspicions of another woman.

OP, can’t you talk to her about it? I’ve a history of working myself non stop at work, took a while for me to see the light!

Agree we need more information to know what you’re asking though...

RebelRogue · 17/10/2018 21:48

What was she moaning about tomorrow?
What do you mean about wound up?

LadyLapsang · 17/10/2018 22:27

My DH often works abroad, so my thoughts are it's just a case of cracking on. I don't think you did anything special.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/10/2018 22:41

You need to give us more information before we can offer advice.

When did this start? Does she work from home? Do you have a job or are you a SAHF? If she's working loads of overtime, why? Or is it her own business?

I often worked crazy hours when building my own business. My DH covered the domestic front. We were a great team.

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