Feeling guilty when they want you back

[Misen]

How do you stop yourself feeling guilty for ending the relationship when they want you back?

I’m such a people pleaser and I hate the fact that I am causing my ex so much pain. I think I preferred feeling devastated to this!

I broke up with my fiancé about 3 months before the wedding. Bad, bad times and he was still sending me the occasional “I miss you” text 2 whole years later. You have to harden your heart to it. You ended it for a reason.

A decade later he’s got two kids, a lovely wife and we text occasionally to say hey. He agrees now it was for the best.

Remain strong.

Don't take him back just because he wants it. Your heart wouldn't be in it, and actually it wouldn't be fair on him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Oh I know this feeling! Even though it was 12 years ago. As a pp said, you need to harden yourself to it. Be repetitive but not unkind and definitely do not give even the tiniest hope that you will change your mind. If I told my ex that I still cared and wanted him to be ok, he saw this as there may be another chance, if i said we could still be friends, he saw this as another ray of hope. This led to a lot of anger and name calling on his part.

This won't make it any easier but someone once told me to be aware that he is effectively trying to make you feel guilty to manipulate you into doing what he wants.

I kept that in mind and tried to limit any contact as much as possible.

It's a really horrible situation for a people pleaser.