My husband wants to leave please help me

[Bitchplease]

We've not been getting on for a while but today he's said he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I can't stop crying I just want this all to stop. We have two children aged 7 and six months, I don't know what to do.

Sorry I'm so incoherent but I can't think straight.

I still remember how awful this felt (7 years ago now) but I honestly promise you will be fine.

I’m sorry. It must be very painful and scary. But you are mother and a strong person so you will get through it.

First thing, call your best friends, mum, sister or any other support network. They will come over and take care of you. Don’t worry about judgement. Relationships fail, it’s a thing and happens to us all. They only care about you and won’t judge. It honestly helps to have people around you. Don’t isolate yourself.

Practically, at some point you will need to deal with the wicked issue of money and shared parenting. But just not now or at least today.

I assume you know why this has happened better than us. I hope you can find some immediate peace and resolution to the pain. Get you friends and family around you.

I'm sat here breastfeeding our baby. I've cried my eyes out on him this afternoon then he said this wasn't helping anyone and we should go to Aldi?! I need to pull myself together my little boy is home from school soon and it's parents evening tonight.

I'm on maternity leave from a minimum wage job, I've just supported him through three years of a nursing degree. We had so many plans for when he graduated

What a horrible situation. You will feel better soon, but it's going to be tough.

I would be looking around at who he's been hanging out with - this smacks of another woman, to me.

How horrible that you supported him all that time and now he's planning to just bugger off. It's really shocking.

There's no one else, he's never really away from the house and he finished uni ages ago. I'm not perfect by any means to be fair but neither is he. I thought we could get through this.

Has he got a job yet? Obviously there are plenty of opportunities for male nurses to meet women. So sorry this is happening to you

Oh, he’s still there.

In that case, can you get away for a few hours to be with a friend or family. Perhaps leave him with the children. Otherwise when He goes out call someone over. Just try to get some time away from him and the situation. If he wants to separate he can used to having the kids on his own.

Financially, as you have a young pre nursery child he is now going to have to support you and them. It will cost him dearly. What is the housing situation. Do you own? Has he mentioned moving out anytime soon. That can be for the best but it costs.

“He said he isn’t helping anyone” Well that’s too damn bad isn’t it.? He’s going to learn pretty soon that he does have to support his child at the very least! He’s a cruel asshole to behave this way as you’ve supported him through his training! You will be fine without him and I encourage you to get away from him

Im sorry OP that sounds really hard.

What is your housing situation? Do you own or rent, is the tenancy in both names etc?

Do you have any friends or family close by who could come over and be with you?

Only and arsehole would drop this on a new breastfeeding mum.

I know it's hard right now, but get angry and get your ducks in a row.

Also I'm sorry I agree, this screams OW.

I do get why you're saying other woman but he really doesn't go out ever.

We rent, I'm not sure I can afford it on my own so I'm going to get some advice and put my name down for a council house.

He's got a job but hasn't started yet, waiting for dbs and all the paperwork to be done. We have no income right now and it's very stressful. I would still rather stay with him to be honest.

I've asked him to go and stay with his dad (who lives a few hundred miles away) but he says he can't afford it. It's really hard being with him right now.

If he is starting a nursing job, is their staff accommodation available ? Could he move into there ?

He wants out, let him. Don't do the "pick me" dance, stand well back and let him see the kids, but don't let him keep hurting you. Easier said than done, I know, but you need to go into self preservation mode here.

But make him leave, that's the least he owes you. He should have thought of the practicalities before dropping this bombshell.

He says he can’t afford it? All he needs is cheap bus/train fare to get there surely. Don’t just accept that. Make him go.

Make him go.

You can't legally just make people go.

If he is starting a nursing job, is their staff accommodation available ? Could he move into there ?

That's a good idea.

1. Go see the council and get your name down for housing.
2. Make sure you apply for all the benefits you are entitled to as a single mum.
3. Move out.
4. File with CMS for child support.

Your world has crumbled when you are most vulnerable. Don't look to him to save you. You need distance so you can heal.

Sort money and a new home first. X

So sorry, it's horrible, been through it myself recently. Could he have a crush on anyone at work? That's what happened to me. I couldn't believe it.

Also, he's dropped this huge bombshell on you, don't let him dictate what happens now. That's not fair to tell you all this and expect that you will just be like 'Oh okay yeah' and let him do what he wants.