Can DP stop me moving out with DCs?

[VenelopeVonSweetz]

Long story, basically I am utterly miserable. I have felt unloved and resented for the last couple of years. When I’ve questioned DPs feelings he has said this is all in my head but he finally admitted that I was right all along.

I want to spilt but he won’t leave and won’t let me take the kids if I go. Can he stop me from doing this?

He has said he doesn’t trust me with the kids (mental health issues) and he wants to be with them everyday.

I feel like I have two choices, walk away from him and leave my DCs which will break me, I adore my children or stay in a miserable relationship.

Please contact Womens Aid and Rights of Women and talk over your options with them.
If you are the main carer then you can leave and take the DC with you.
Do you have somewhere to go?
Reading between the lines, he sounds abusive so get some proper advice.
Good luck.

Thank you. I will call them this afternoon.

I am their main carer. He does a lot and is a great father to them but he’s an utterly shit partner! I am worried that he will not return the DCs if he has them after we split.

I can go to my DMs until I can find a home for us all to live in.

As their main carer if you aren't married yes you can take them. I left my ex while he was at work. As their main carer if he takes them and doesn't bring them back the police can. They won't get involved if married though. I suggest mediation before for a child arrangement order then you have concrete peace of mind. Seek cms also regardless of his promises to pay.

I suspect that your mental health may improve greatly when you leave this horrible partner!
Please speak to a solicitor- the first appointment is often free of charge - to discuss your rights in this situation. Ditto contact Women’s Aid as advised above. Your husband is just trying to intimidate you into staying. Don’t listen to him.

Thank you @april

We aren’t married but he is on the birth certificates so my understanding is that he has the same parental rights as me. Am I right?

He has said he will quit his job so that he can be the main carer so that I can’t take them. Can he do this or will he have to get a court order?

@babdoc I know my mental health with greatly improved with him out of my life. I just want to move on with my life now and make a happy life for me and my kids.

Do call Womens Aid and the Rights of Women as has already been suggested.

He is not a great father to them if he treats you as their mother so badly; not even close. Women in poor relationships often write such as well when they themselves can think of nothing positive to write about their man. He is trying to use the children as punishment for leaving him against you; he knows they are your achilles heel and he cares not a jot for them either. He is all bluster and won't let go of you at all easily; my guess is that he will continue to be abusive and obstructive towards you post separation as well. Also he planning to quit his job may be another way of him trying to avoid paying maintenance.

Keep focussing on that happy future, OP, and then plan your way towards it one step at a time. Gather all the information you need, with regard to finances, legal advice etc, and make sure you have good emotional support from friends and family to carry you through the period of turmoil while you make the changes required.
You can do this. Believe in yourself, be strong, you will get there. Sending my prayers that it all works out for you as soon as possible. God bless.

When I left my abusive exh I was told that if your children were born after a certain date (2006 I think) and his name was on the bc then he also has parental responsibility for that child. I was advised to get a prohibited steps order before leaving with them.

Please get advice op , you need to know where you srand legally before you make a move.

Good luck.

I have been doing some research to assist my ds with his ds +his ex. They weren't married and she holds the cards as it were.
They are at mediation this week.
You can go alone and voice your concerns. He is paying £15 for the session.
Google mediation in your area - may be a different price.
Don't be bullied into staying op. I found a house to rent, packed and moved. He saw dc every Sat at the start. It ended up in court because he was a twat!!