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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How can you tell if a guy wants you and is developing emotional feelings toward you?

16 replies

Songstress01 · 15/10/2018 00:19

Hi I've been infatuated with this guy for several months but our relationship is complicated there are reasons he can't be direct about his feelings if he has any. So how can I tell with his body language I don't want to make a fool of myself by just assuming

OP posts:

gigira · 15/10/2018 00:32

I think the only way of knowing is when their actions are serious. Eg meeting family , moving in etc

Singlenotsingle · 15/10/2018 00:39

Don't take anything for granted! Dont assume he has feelings for you unless he says or does something to prove it. Why can't he be direct? Is he married or has a gf?

Original poster

Songstress01 · 15/10/2018 00:59

We're both taken he gets close to me hugs me smile and laugh a lot when we're together and flirt he compliments me says he likes me but nothing beyond that I've never told him my feelings and I can feel a connection like something is in the air

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 15/10/2018 01:05

He's a natural flirt. A charmer, probably very good looking too. They like getting women going, and I bet you're not the only one.

Raininuk · 15/10/2018 01:05

You won't know for sure unless he tells you

Original poster

Songstress01 · 15/10/2018 01:20

I hope he isn't doing this with anyone else but there is no way for me to know he's incredibly good looking and younger then me I'm 34 he is 26 I know it's wrong for me to want him but the pheromones are so strong it's hard not to want him I just want to take him but he would have to make the first move there is no way I will.

OP posts:

Original poster

Songstress01 · 15/10/2018 01:22

What type of body language will a guy do if he is attracted to a woman?

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 15/10/2018 01:42

The good looking men know they're attraçtive to women and they're used to being chased. It's like bees round a honeypot. It's a game and the honeypot likes it.

The way I knew dp liked me was he kept looking at me. Nothing more, nothing obvious. Eventually, we got talking and it went on from there.

Original poster

Songstress01 · 15/10/2018 02:00

Well I've caught him looking at me and he quickly looked away when he noticed I noticed yeah I can believe a lot of girls like him he told me once gay guys have hit on him at bars and even though he is not gay he found it flattering. The first time I met him I told him was good looking he laughed and blushed. He can't tell me directly how he feels not just because we're both taken but because of the position he is in I wish something could happen. He looks like Orlando bloom but better taller with blue eyes and he is physically fit. I've been told I look like Alicia silver stone except I have auburn hair and green eyes I'm not where I want to be physically I used to be physically fit I'm a little overweight but I know how to dress and flirt and I'm currently in the process of losing the extra weight I share my poetry with him he loves it said it's beautiful an extension of me I want him so bad it hurts if circumstances were different I wouldn't hesitate to go after him.

OP posts:

UnscriptedTruth · 15/10/2018 02:58

Is he your manager or your teacher?

TheMonkeyMummy · 15/10/2018 03:07

You are both in relationships.

If you want to be with someone else, or to have sex with someone else, sort out your relationship at home first.

Could you honestly have a relationship with someone who behaves like this, whilst in a relationship? Don't kid yourself that this is a one off. What about all the hurt if your current partners find out? What about your job? You are in your thirties, he is in his twenties, so hardly at the same point in life/maturity.

Recognize it for what it is, a crush at best, wank fodder at worst, and move on. Don't give it the headspace.

TheMonkeyMummy · 15/10/2018 03:10

Ps: you don't sound like someone in their 30's. You sound like a school kid.

ferrier · 15/10/2018 07:24

34 / 26 is hardly a world away

However, as pp said, regardless of whether you 'get' him or not, you should end your current relationship. If your head has been turned by another guy then it's not fair on your current partner to stay with him.

Notacluewhatthisis · 15/10/2018 07:32

What do you mean you hope he is like this with anyone else? You mean besides his OH, who he is in a relationship with?

You need to grow up. If you arent happy in your relationship, leave.

strawberrisc · 15/10/2018 07:35

Is it half-term already?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 15/10/2018 08:21

You arent even single , please let your DP go so that he can get someone better who isn’t morally bankrupt.
Secondly the other guy doesn’t seem to have indicated he fancies you, you sound deluded and wishing for it to happen 🙄. Join tinder fgs and maybe get some moral fibre and self respect whilst you’re at it.

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