I posted a while ago about some comments my 'dp' had been making. i dont know how to link it!
mumsnetters really really helped me through it. i ended it and i feel so much better now, it is incredible. the first couple of weeks were really shit and i questioned myself over and over. now i really can see him for the utter shit that he is.
im posting again for 2 reasons. firstly i want anyone to know that they CAN get over someone like this. i really didnt think that i could, i honestly couldnt see a way forward and didnt know who i was. if i can do it, you can aswell.
im also posting out of curiosity about my exs behaviour since i ended it. this isnt because i am still thinking about it in the relationship context. im genuinely interested in the opinions here, after all the wonderful support i was given last time. after i ended it, he didnt speak for a while. on my birthday he sent flowers and card with lots of love etc. he messaged to ask if i had it. i said why did you send them, im your ex. he said there was nothing in it, no feelings, and he was being nice. cue him then being very abrupt (by text) and saying "for fucks sake cant i just do something nice without this drama". the drama was me asking why had sent them and telling him it was inappropriate....
i didnt want him back by the time he had sent them. i didnt want him in my life full stop. but now i have recovered, im interested in this behaviour - to me it seems hugely manipulative, inappropriate, almost about him? im not really asking anyhting, looking back i am almost shocked that you mumsneters were so right, about it all, even him doing that "gesture" - it was as if he completely and fully fitted the emotionally, controlling bully box you had all put him in and i never saw that when i first met him.
thank you for steering me the right way. i was a total mess and your posts kept me strong.