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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex in rampage?

18 replies

lilisabeth · 14/10/2018 11:03

Hi all... I posted some months ago re- my fiancé and how he was abusive and gasligthing me. Sadly enough I had to shut all communications and block him into all social media and end that relationship ...After months of intense guilt feelings coming on and off, making myself responsible for some stuff and even thinking of writing a friendly email just to say how sad I was about splitting up this way.. then, I received an email. Subject:LinkedIn profile. And the content was, your LinkedIn profile is not true. This kind of deceit can’t go without consequences...
obviously he found out I got a new job, and lose it.
He kept emailing me and copying the email tha he did actually to my company!! Unbelievable, this is not acceptable.

I’m in a mix of anger, and really upset. I really thought he was the one. What on earth is going on?

He is putting at risk my job , he wants to destroy me.. I never thought he could do that

OP posts:
Standinguptononsense · 14/10/2018 11:03

This is harassment. I'd speak to the police.

ru345 · 14/10/2018 11:05

Second police

Pinkgeorge · 14/10/2018 11:07

If your profile is correct and you have not mislead your employers then you have nothing to worry about. He sounds like a nasty bully.

TawnyTeal · 14/10/2018 11:12

If your profile and resume to your new company is factual, then you have nothing to worry about as far as telling the truth.

Regarding the harassment, I would go straight to the police. He needs to be dealt with immediately.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/10/2018 11:21

Go to the police and report his harassment of you. He was never going to ever let go of you that easily.

ru345 · 14/10/2018 11:24

Why does love turn to destruction like that! Can you delete your profile? Obv after police has evidence he is trying to destroy you that’s frightening

MsPavlichenko · 14/10/2018 11:35

The advise above is al good. Also look at doing the Freedom Programme. Wil be so helpful.

GBroGal · 14/10/2018 11:43

I agree - you need to go to the police about this harassment. I would also (same day if possible) go to your employer and explain your ex is harassing you and you have contacted the police - if your employer is on your side they can offer support.
Re deleting your profile - well, I think that's a good way to help your ex to achieve his aim of controlling you.

GBroGal · 14/10/2018 12:11

Sorry - my last comment re deleting your profile was abrupt and not at all helpful. I do think though that if you start changing anything on there, your employer might wonder if there is any truth in these nasty allegations. So, I suggest you talk to your employer about what you could do to protect yourself online too - he's already involved them with his email and it will be helpful to have them on your side.

Original poster
lilisabeth · 14/10/2018 13:10

Agree with you all, Thanks, I have decided to block him in LinkedIn too.. my profile is fine it’s all about controlling about chango g things that he want me to..but errm I’m sorry ! I’m not yours

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/10/2018 13:10

Another saying go to the police, that is stalking and harassment and threatening behaviour.

Also talk to your employer, they should be able to help you, like not accepting any calls or emails from him.

Stay strong, be pissed off, get him dealt with.

Original poster
lilisabeth · 14/10/2018 13:44

Anyone thinks if he can get worse?

OP posts:
Weezol · 14/10/2018 13:47

Yes. Which is why you need to contact the police.

blueangel1 · 14/10/2018 13:47

OP, I've seen examples of this behaviour from my DP's ex. She was the one who left him, but she still wants to control him and she absolutely doesn't want him to be happy. We have had all sorts of stuff over the last 20 months and she keeps coming back. I know it sounds awful, but keep records of anything that you think might be down to him, and then at least you've got evidence.

dirtybadger · 14/10/2018 13:48

Contact the Police. Also, contacting a stalking helpline might help if you don't feel the Police are helpful with regard to advice. A charity dedicated to helping victims of stalking/harassment are probably more knowledgeable than the first officer you might speak to.

kaitlinktm · 14/10/2018 13:49

If he thinks he can get away with it he might well get worse - please at least report to the police and see what they say.

Anniegetyourgun · 14/10/2018 13:52

It's possible. See, here you are, a normal, decent person, worrying about what you may have done wrong in your relationship and whether you should be friendly, whilst your ex has no such impulse. It's all about control, winning, revenge; not about getting on pleasantly with other human beings. You can't understand a person like that because you are not like that, thank God. Get any help you can in dealing with it.

Standinguptononsense · 14/10/2018 17:42

He will up the anti until he gets the reaction he is looking for.....I'd at least have a conversation with the police so it's recorded.

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