Feel low

[Shepcpot]

Regular user, name changed. I don't normally create my own thread, but comment on others. I was on the no contact threat at the beginning of the year.
So, I'm divorced with ds 10, single. Since splitting with exh (2009) I've had 2 relationships and have dated. Lots of space inbetween and the relationships were short, although much hurt.
I can't say my life has moved forward much, I've kept things going, concentrated on ds. I'm still in the same property (mortgage) and same job (not a career)
I'm early 40s now and feel I've given up hope of anything changing. I've no idea where to begin. I don't have close family, they see me getting on with it. Also I know lots of people but don't want to share too much. I'm feeling isolated. I don't have one of those amazing stories where I divorced my husband then my life too off. Not sure what I'm asking, I just feel stuck, restricted and embarrassed I'm where I am at my age.

You don't say what you want or what makes you happy? You've clearly moved on from your ex by having other relationships, you have a job, a mortgage and are raising your son alone. Sounds like you're doing pretty well to me.
Sounds like you need to have a think about what you want from life? Do you think you need a man to make you happy?
I'm early 40s and now a single mother to 2 boys. I have a habit of 'getting on with it' too.
You';ve nothing to feel embarrassed about. I actually have a couple of other friends the same age as me who are single parents too and I see them as strong, capable women.

Crappyday. Thanks for your reply.
I've travelled a lot with my ds, that makes me happy, plus teaching him things and generally bringing him up. I've maintained the house (redecorated whole house)
I went to uni when I was younger but didn't finish. Did get a graduate job but left it and now I'm in a mundane but stressful job although it pays quite well.
I don't need a man at all. I'm so independent and self sufficient, however, it would be nice to share with someone. I find trust so hard though. I only know 1 other single parent! I get lonely and feel I've missed out on a career. I have looked into studying but not sure it's feasable.
I just wonder if things will change. I guess I need think about what I want

Maybe try to establish a bit more of a real life social circle. Once you get to have real,honest conversations with people of your age/in your situation, you will realise that a lot of us are just getting from day to day,enjoying the good bits and making the best of it.
No reason to be embarrassed,sounds like you have things under control.Please don't imagine others have perfect lives going on,you just don't know them well enough to know the reality yet,and a man is certainly not essential.Message me if you would like to

I’ve just posted a similar thread, although mainly down to a recent breakup.

I get that from the outside, I look like I’m coping and I’m doing everything I should be but this really isn’t how I thought my life would end up. I don’t want to just keep going through the motions/existing - I want to be happy and have fun and enjoyment. Make the most of my life. I just don’t know how when I’m limited by my circumstances.

Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone

@sally2791 yes I know I need to get more of a social circle. I almost feel trapped in my own bubble. My confidence is low. It's almost like I've put a protective barrier around me and I don't know how to trust again.

@nothingmakesitbetter. Yes I totally get it. Sorry to hear of your recent breakup. It is so hard in the beginning and an emotional rollercoaster.

I'm going to get out with my ds son today.