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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex spreading lies

2 replies

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 13/10/2018 11:41

I got divorced from my ex because he was physically and mentally abusive. We have a biological child so I still have to remain in contact even though I'd rather never see him again.

He does not pay maintenance and I haven't bothered chasing that up as he knows all the loopholes to get out of paying.

He is still abusive towards me. We can't have a civil conversation. He refuses to speak to me in person. For example, once she had athletes foot, so when he picked her up, I walked out to the car and told him she had a tube of cream with her and she'd need a spare towel to stand on after the shower, and he just blanked me and didn't respond.

If I send an email, I get a response back full of threats and swearing. Things like threatening to block her passport so we can't go on holiday, or demanding to do pick up's/drop off's when he knows I'm at my hobby simply to stop me from attending.

I've been a member of an internet forum for a number of years linked with the hobby that I do. I know some of the people using it in "real life" as well as on the forum. I'm generally well liked on there.

The ex has started using the forum and has told several people that I am a liar. He claims he did nothing wrong and I made up all the abuse allegations for attention seeking. This is not true and I have all the paperwork showing I am telling the truth and he was the abuser. His bully pack have followed me around the forum bullying me deliberately so I have stopped posting on it.

I really miss the chat with friends I had on there as I'm lonely in real life and it's company for me. Is there anything I can do to stop him from telling lies about me and allow me to use the site without being in fear of him or his bully friends? I wondered about a non-molestation order, or is that a bit over the top and I should just forget about the forum?

I feel like I'm still being abused even though I'm divorced from him Sad

OP posts:
stellabird · 13/10/2018 12:03

Why not contact the admin of the forum, explaining what is happening ? And then join the forum under another name . Just a thought.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 13/10/2018 12:20

I had thought about that but then why should I have to hide when I'm not the one spreading lies and turning people against someone.

The ex has little interest in the hobby and is purely using the site as a way of abusing/controlling me like he did when we were married.

OP posts:
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