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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he married?

41 replies

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 10:26

I met a man on OLD three months ago - we used to chat for hours but sometimes, he would ghost me and kept making excuses about meeting in real life, so, I ended up blocking him. He contacted me again from a different number and begged me not to put the phone down and he apologised for his behaviour.

Still, he was not committing to meeting in real life, always blaming his work, so I blocked him again and after three weeks, he contacted me again and I reluctantly agreed to meet in real life.

We met and it was an instant connection and chemistry (he was two hours late for our date) - but he is doing the same thing as before from messaging/talking on the phone every day to ghosting me and blaming his work for not having any time to text or call me. He called me after midnight this morning but chose not to answer his calls.

I suspect that he is married - when we met, he told me that he was separated. I have asked him again if he was married, he chose to ignore the questions. He told me that he was looking for a serious relationship.

Is he married? I have chosen to not contact him again.

OP posts:
Blackness78 · 13/10/2018 13:59

Two hours late for a date and you're still entertaining him; not to mention the ghosting?! Set the bar higher.

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 14:02

@Black, please read my post again! I am done with him. He lives approximately 10 miles from me. I have a date with a new man. He is kind, gentle and honest...

I have deleted the man and not answering his messages - I know that I was a mug!

OP posts:
Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 14:02

It’s. The. Second. Date.

You are way too invested.

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 14:07

Second date with man no.2...

OP posts:
Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 14:08

Yes. I know.

It’s the second date with ANY man. You’re desperate.

AnyFucker · 13/10/2018 14:08

Well done on booting 1st man

Give 2nd man some time before you calling him "kind, gentle and honest". You know fuck-all about him.

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 14:11

Thank you @Black... I will take it easy. Thank you, I am sure that you have been there - please share your story!

OP posts:
Blackoutblinds · 13/10/2018 14:13

I’m not asking advice Tanner! You are.

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 14:14

@Any, thank you! You're wise! I appreciate the support that I am getting.. age is not associated with knowing or being wise. I am learning.

I am regretful for all your advices!!

OP posts:
DancingForTheDog · 13/10/2018 16:10

Good luck with the new man OP. You sound like a lovely person but a bit naive, so tread carefully.

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 16:37

I do not think that I am naive... What happen with the benefit of the doubt. My ghoster has sent another message. I am no longer playing, I have chosen not to play his games but I am still going on a date with guy no.2

Why should I be a bitch to guy no 2, he has not done anything bad to me.

Ladies, you have all been wonderful. Thank you. You told me that I was a mug and naive - I agreed with you all.

I will update you on my new man tomorrow . Not everyone is like the last guy you dated

OP posts:
RyderWhiteSwan · 13/10/2018 16:52

Enjoy your date OP I look forward to your report tomorrow! Grin

AtrociousCircumstance · 13/10/2018 16:56

It’s not being a ‘bitch’ to hold back and use caution with someone you don’t know - this new man might be lovely but equally he might just seem lovely.

Spotify · 13/10/2018 17:00

If he is 'separated' surely he is still married?

Tanner2018 · 13/10/2018 17:09

I don't know man no.1, I have decided not to play today and he cannot stop texting me.

I am a good judge of character... Please note that I blocked man no.1 twice before we met. I met man no.2 within a week of meeting. I am meeting him in about an hour.

OP posts:
Brot64 · 13/10/2018 18:13

Two hours of waiting? I get irritated just waiting for 10 minutes!! Forget him, block him. Better men will come

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