Good enough reason

[onemoresmartie]

My partner is a chef I'm currently sat with a glass of wine on my own...he probably won't be in till gone 10:30 by which point I'll be in bed as I work full time as well and I'm knackered

This is every weekend...I hate his job and it's so hard he works every fri and sat night

I have a deep sitting resentment about it...it's so hard knowing other couples are together sitting in together or out enjoying themselves

I don't think chefs can really have relationships in the normal way...has anyone else stopped a relationship because it just wasn't what you wanted ?

If your relationship isn’t making you happy, that’s all you need to end it.

I don’t like the hours mine works. He’s currently away all weekend have worked a full week too and this is the third week of it. It pays very well and he loves it.

Very few of our friends have 9-5 jobs and some work long unsociable hours as well. So one usually has something with more flexible hours to fit in around the other. Others don’t see each other often enough in my view but it works for them.

What better reason is there to end a relationship other than it not being what you want?

Was very liberating for me when I realised that you don’t need a ‘good enough’ reason to end a relationship, other than wanting to.

I wish my DP finished at 10:30, he works shifts and is on nights tonight.

That's not to say you should just suck it up. If it doesn't work for you that's 100% your call.

I think if there was any variety then I could handle it ie light at the end of the tunnel
But this is it...every weekend and most evenings on my own
I might as well be single as nothing would be different for me really if I was

every weekend and most evenings on my own

That's a relationship killer. Every weekend

Is there no other chef? Or do quite a few of them work the shift?

At least police officers, doctors and fire fighters work a rota.

This could be said both ways, could you not find work that gives you more time off together? Would you want to?

There’s really nothing wrong with ending a relationship because it’s not nesting your needs.

I work in a 9-5ish job so other than changing career paths I think this is just how it will be...just shit really
I need to decide whether it's what I want or not

My FWB is a chef and (while we're happy with our fun no-strings thing and aren't looking to get serious anyways) I've often thought that it would be nigh on impossible for him to find someone who'd be able to deal with the hours he works -- he recently got a job in a new restaurant which is slightly less punishing but in his last head chef role he seemed to work a consistent 15 hours a day 6 days a week. He has talked before about how essentially his job is his life and that can be tough but it's what he's personally very talented and extremely passionate about and has been since his teens so he just has to accept it for now. Basically I wouldn't blame you for walking away based on it though OP, it is a lot to take on and if you're feeling that you might as well be single, it doesn't sound like there's a lot in the relationship for you.