My boyfriend has left me and i'm struggling to process

[YogiYogi88]

Bit of background - we have been together for 5 years, are both self employed in different fields and rent a flat together. We have no children.
Due to his job he has been working away lately (has short term contracts) and a couple of weeks ago I felt something change. I spoke to him about it - I was home alone most of the time, he stopped texting me during the day and just felt I'd been placed on the backburner.

He said he has been stressed with work and that he knows he hasn't been the same and apologised. I told him I was worried about our relationship and he said that it was just work, and that once this contact ended it would be different.

I spoke to my friends who came up with various solutions to put our relationship back on track as I understand that its not always sunshine and roses.

Last week he was supposed to come back on Wednesday night, I made dinner etc and then he text to say he wasn't coming back as was knackered.

Last night, he was home and I asked if he was ok, and he started to say 'he'd been feeling....' and then I had to drag it out of him!
Said he doesn't feel the same way any more and hasn't for months. Said he loves me but wants to break up because its not fair on me because I give him everything and he cant give it back.

I packed a bag and a friend picked me up - I went back in the room and he was crying and tried to hug me but I just left.

I'm posting this because my friends (bar one) are telling me to take space, and that it probably is his job and he may just be unhappy with his life in general.
(The one friend who isn't has basically said - he's telling me how he feels and that I have to accept that and I'm worth more basically)

Anyway - could my friends be right? Do men sometimes do this when really he does still love me but is dealing with some other issues and blaming our relationship?

I'd listen to what he's actually saying and move on. He's told you he doesn't feel the same as he once did. The 'but' bit saying he still loves you is classic. Its a tactic to keep you on the back burner in case being footloose and fancy free doesn't work out and he wants to come back to you.
You're worth more than this OP.

Hmm. It sounds as if he has either realises that he'd be happy without you having experienced it, or possibly that he fancies someone else.

I am really sorry. As terrible as it is now, it seems like he has been honest with you and you need to accept it and not hope for things to go back to normal. Sending you lots of hugs x

either way you need to accept its over - Im sorry..... I mean that kindly but either hes telling the truth, or he doesnt know what he wants and will take you back and you will constantly be on edge that he will flip flop and do it again! Either way you do deserve better...... hold you head up high, no begging and be strong.

It’s over , you need to be strong and accept it , be kind to yourself . Block him on everything , take a break from social media . Get yourself a stack of box sets to watch (not romantic) , revamp your wardrobe , get your hair done , eat healthy, get sleep (I had to use sleep aids for a while) but sleep is so important. After 4 months I promise you , you will feel lots better . It’s been 4 months for me now (my ex cheated on me whilst I was pregnant , I didn’t have a clue what he was up to at the time ) I now feel very indifferent to him and have joined a dating app, speaking to a few guys , and going to the gym. Concentrate on you and making everything else around you perfect ! Sending you strength and hugs xx

It’s over.

the “but I love you” is a real wimp move on his part.
Your “he might just be stressed” friends are telling you what they think you want to hear but the other friend Is right.

Start moving on...

Block him.

Go NC and grieve the end of your relationship.

...then move on.

I’ve been in this situation constantly with my ex over the last few years, the last time being two weeks ago. He ups and leaves out of the blue then comes back when he gets bored of his single life/new girlfriend. We have young children and I love him which is why I’m always grateful he comes back. I know nothing will ever change and I need to move on which is easier said than done. I’m still full of heartbreak and crying over it most of the time, especially once kids are in bed and I realise how lonely and bored I am.
As hard as it is you need to take some time and move on from this, I wish I’d done this the first time my ex done this to me. They all say the same ‘script’ which translates to ‘I want greener grass’. It’s never greener. Sorry you are going through this but know that I understand your pain