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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it right to walk away?

3 replies

sunshinelollipopsrainbows · 12/10/2018 11:11

Ive recently been dating a guy Ive known for years. Hes 40 and never had a girlfriend and I dont think hes ever made it past a month or so of dating anyone. When we first met from sitting together at work I was in a relationship. We developed feelings for each other in that time that we agreed to put aside due to my relationship and children, and we got made redundant so didnt see each other for 5 years until recently.

We've been dating a couple of months but only seeing each other every other week. We've been on some nights out together & some meals. I always knew we'd never have a relationship because it's not him, but I've started to feel uncomfortable and worried about everything lately so I have told him I dont think its a good idea to continue. I didnt understand what he wanted from me if he didnt want a relationship but wasnt interested in seeing anyone else. I feel the same way, as my marriage was 9 years long and I dont feel like I want to do a relationship again any time soon. So in that respect we are on the same page, but I am terrified if I continue on with him I will fall in love with him. I am acutely aware that hes not dated anyone for long and Im scared he will get bored of me easily and back away leaving me hurt. Am I doing the right thing? It hurts now anyway, but I guess not as bad as it could be.

OP posts:
PaleRider1 · 12/10/2018 11:17

If you don't feel like you don't want a relationship again anytime soon, then yes, it's right to walk away.

TBH, I'd be very wary of any relationship with someone where one side had never had a long term relationship, a partner of made it past a few weeks.

sunshinelollipopsrainbows · 12/10/2018 11:25

Sorry, no, he doesnt want a relationship either. Neither of us do. Its just im scared of longer term casual dating leading to stronger feelings..

OP posts:
PaleRider1 · 12/10/2018 12:10

I think whilst you have feelings that you don't want to date then go with it, enjoy your time being yourself. There is nothing wrong with being single.

Maybe in time you will feel different about dating or developing a longer term relationship with someone. You may meet someone that makes you feel totally different about the whole thing. For now though, if it doesn't feel right then don't continue.

I've been single now for three years and in all honesty, I do not miss being in a relationship

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