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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I realised I'm not over him.

4 replies

starlight2 · 11/10/2018 20:07

Hi apologies if this is long but I'm just looking for some advice.

I was this guy for 4 years he was my first love, lost my virginity with him etc and we were inseparable and loved being with him and he was always great to me.

That was until I got pregnant...around April I started being really horrible for no reason, started getting paranoid and upset and didn't know why and a month later I couldn't take it anymore and one night I woke up at 5 am and had this feeling I was pregnant I done a test etc and I was.

He took the news well at first and we agreed to keep baby and to move in together etc then mid June he went completely cold no text, no calls for weeks until one night he came to my house at the end of July and told me that he's happy about the baby but he dosent want to be with me anymore. I was absolutely heart broken

I seen him for a while after and we were still sleeping together and having dinner and I thought I was dealing with it great. Then we started to argue a lot and they got worse and worse and we were pretty horrible to each other and then he started sleeping with other girls, going out all the time and he told me that this is what he's been missing out on for the past 4 years. We then had a massive argument and both said some unforgivable things but we have since been ok and he will text me to ask how me and the baby are and we had dinner on Friday night and we both apologised.

After seeing him I couldn't stop thinking about all the nice things we done together like holidays, dinners etc and I really started to miss him, then on Saturday I became really ill with food poisoning and I've had to take time off work and all I've done since has thought about how much I want to be with him and I've cried this week way more than I ever did when we first broke up. I feel horrible as if we have just broke up all over again and I just want him to tell me it'll all be ok and that we can be a family (clearly dreaming I knowConfused)

My question is should I try and tell him how I feel and tell him I still love him or is it too late and I should just remain civil for the sake of my son who will be here in December?

OP posts:
starlight2 · 11/10/2018 20:49

Currently resisting the urge to text so I don't sound desperate 😳

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 11/10/2018 22:16

Be civil.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be.
Focus on yourself and baby.
Keep him at a distance. Arrange a fair co-parenting agreement and maintenance.

GreenLantern53 · 11/10/2018 22:20

Im sorry its going to sound harsh but he doesnt want you. best to accept it and move on and try to co parent the best you can.

starlight2 · 11/10/2018 22:26

@Lifeisabeach09 @GreenLantern53 Thank you, I think I just needed to hear it from someone else! Just never imagined I'd end up a single mum at 22. Hopefully we can both do what's best for our son because he comes firstSmile

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