Living apart - can it work?

[onemoresmartie]

Just that question really
We lived together previously but he had a lot of issues drugs, alcohol, etc
We split up for a year he moved away and we both met other people and tried to move on
He has moved back closer to me now and we live 45 mins apart, he doesn't drive so I always go to his and stay
I have been finding he isn't paying bills, never seems to have any money, his place is a pig sty the majority of the time but I don't comment as it's not my home..
He lives and works in a very small village and I have been getting to know some of the locals however one particular person I sent her a message asking her if she was around this weekend and she hasn't responded?
Am I pushing myself into his life where I'm not wanted?

Ok - let’s summarise -
Drugs, alcohol, messy house, not paying bills, makes no effort to see you - adult Male living in a village surely can learn to drive, other issues....

What on earth do you’d see in him, OP... and what life are you hoping to have with him???

Please - before this train wreck ruins your life - find yourself someone who you don’t need to mother and take care of. Someone who will want to be a grown up in a relationship.

I've been asking him for weeks to buy basic things to enable me to take my ds to stay...cutlery, microwave, a fridge!
I feel like I'm begging for him to be a grown up! It seems simple things are too much to ask...I feel that he is telling lies to people in the village about me to cover up for himself so when I do go there to visit I feel very paranoid

What are you doing? Why expose your child to this?
You will always come last after his addictions, let go
Alanon may help you. He doesn't seem that bothered anyway

I love him and my ds adores him....he doesn't see the bad parts of him at the minute as he's only 7
I should add it's not his dad but they have a special bond and it broke his heart the first time we split and I just can't do it to him again

OK, it’s one of those posts:
OP: my partner is horrible, immature, doesn’t treat me right, drinks, drugs, etc..
MN: why on earth are you with him
OP: but I love him, maybe he’ll change

Few months later:
Repeat

And it goes on until it gets worse and worse

Good luck with that one, OP.

He's not prepared to take basic steps to make your DS comfortable at his place. I'd want to be with a man who thought more highly of my child than that. Let this one go.

Are you desperate? Exposing your child to someone who is a 'kidult' and expecting to have a meaningful relationship with said 'kidult' is disingenuous at best and bloody masochistic at worst.
Grow up OP!