Hi,
So my story is this, ill start from the beginning. In 2017 when I was 27 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer – It was caught early and I managed to be free of it without chemo which I cant express how thankful I am for, as have lost a few family members to cancer and know first hand its consequences. But that is not the purpose of this story. I mention this because it had an effect on not only me, but my relationship. My relationship was very strong – best of friends – still are friends and both of us have remained amicable. We own a house together, wanted to one day have babies together etc etc.
The problems started just after I was given the all clear (about 6 months ago). I suppose I went through something like a midlife crisis – I started applying to jobs that sounded exciting all over the place, and generally just questioned a lot about my life. Which led to my partner going back to live with his mum (she lives 5 mins up the road) - We had agreed to do this just to inject a bit of spark and to re-ignite our relationship a bit and things had gotten stale, along with me generally questioning everything, being our relationship included. We thought by doing this we could make the time we spend together valuable.
We still met up about once-twice per week in this time, whether just to go for food or because we run a scout group together (along with 2 other people) which obviously takes up at least one evening a week. This continued for about 4 months during which no major decisions were made. During this time I settled back into my job and have reached a level of contentment, not questioning things so much. Then when scout term ended we didn’t see each other for about 3 weeks. I missed him. 2 weeks into which he text me saying he still wants to make this work and still loves me. About a week later I thought, f*k it, what am I doing and text him saying to come home, that I miss him and that we really need to do this basically. I knew that like the job, this was a temporary f*k up and that actually he, and everything we had, is what I want.
The problem was I then got no response for about a further week – hed been away sailing. He is big into sailing doing lots of racing etc – of which I have often gone with him to fill in for crew as although I wouldn’t call it a major passion of mine, its something I enjoy. Turns out on this one particular sailing trip in france he met someone else who was also big into sailing. But also French and pretty etc. how can this have happened – what is with life and timing sometimes.
He has now decided he doesn’t think he loves me anymore to and wants to persue this new long distance relationship (she lives in France, him here in Cornwall). I have experience heart break before – but nothing on this level. We are still in contact and despite meeting up with her, he says he hasn’t written me off. So I suppose my question is this – can anyone relate? This is about a month ago now and im very proud of myself for remaining chill and amicable (at least in his company) and we can still talk. Would you just let this go? Im sure now that life loves throwing curveballs at me. At the end of the day if I have to I will let him go, if that’s what makes him happy, because I love him. Even though that’s a f**g hard thing to do. I just feel like old love, just cant compete with the new sparkly kind..
Please be nice. I, nor the world, find nasty comments helpful.
p.s I know this website is aimed at parents, and though I don’t yet have kids I hope to at some point. Please forgive me.