What’s wrong with my relationship??

[SpotlessMind31]

DH and I have been together for 4 years.
We have 2 children. 1 from previous relationship who’s calls DH dad , they’re very close and also have a baby together.
DH and I got married recently (2 months).

DH has always been kind , supportive , doesn’t ask me to go out and get a job , maybe because he knows we can’t afford child care (not sure) he pays for DS school fees and he helps out around the house a lot when I ask and also with the kids.

Now....
this looks like the perfect relationship...
Except , he doesn’t hug me, he never comes to bed with me,he says I’ll be up shortly but never does, if I stay downstairs with him I know he only watches tv, golf , etc... he isn’t watching porn , (I have walked on him several times only to find him sleeping) .
he never holds me and kisses me.
And whenever we have sex (once a month) it’s rushed, more like he’s masturbarting me and waiting for me to orgasm and that’s it.(sorry TMI)... There’s no kiss on the neck , looking into my eyes ... nothing . Am I being too romantic and completely out of order ?

Is thia normal. I grew up unaware of what love is like , my mum neglected me and I never met my father , so I’ve been with my husband thinking he’s amazing, but is he ?!
I’m young ,skinny , He tells me I look good. my friends think I live the most amazing life with my beautiful kids and loving husband ,but I feeel like I live with a friend. There’s no intimacy.
When we first moved in together we had sex every night.
I know he’s not cheating on me , I always knows he’s whereabouts, phone calls and bank transactions.

Also , I wouldn’t even care if that once a month sex was actually sex, I can masturbate alone , it’s pathetic to have to accept this.
I thought he’d feel different about me -free the wedding , but things have gotten even worse. He works from home too... not that tiring ... he has a relaxed atmosphere and lifestyle....

Sorry for such long post , wanted to include everything about the relationship.
What’s wrong with this man? Help?! I don’t believe in divorce .... 😔

How old is your baby? Having a baby can actually change things - do you think it might have something to do with that?
It just seems strange that he was all over you at the beginning (that tells me he's not gay) but since you now have a baby, he's not interested. Could the two be connected?

I’m so hurt that I I’ve been shutting him out. And maybe he’s waiting for me , and I’m waiting for him, but honestly , it’s not just the sex that’s upsetting , what upsets me the most is the lack of affection.
I was so blunt earlier ,I’m blunt a lot because I don’t know how to deal with emotions , I didn’t have much to learn from as a child .
This evening , I was finishing bathing DD and he was getting ready to leave and he said “is it ok if I leave ...” he was going to parents evening, and instead of saying something nice I just said “that’s a rhetorical question right ?” Because he seems genuine , if you didn’t know he’s shallow.
but I know he tries to make conversation all the time with obvious meaningless things to make up for the fact that we don’t talk about anything deep.
Ps:. I should have never mentioned that I don’t believe in divorce. The reason why I say I don’t believe in it, it’s bevause I was with a guy who almost killed me, I never married him, I have a horrible past , growing up and as adult before I met my husband, and like someone said in the comments ... maybe I’ve just settled. He would never hurt me , he’s very kind , so I probably turned a blind eye to everything else and now I’m missing being with a husband and not just a kind friend .......... so , this is how I think it’s my fault. Thinking about it .....

Ps:. When I said “that’s a rhetorical question , right ?”
He replied with “sometimes you take all the friendship out of our relationship” or something like that ....

And I bit my tongue not to reply with something to upset him , because I’d love to upset him, because I’m a coward who doesn’t want to confront him.... but wishes he’d know how much it hurts to feel ignored.

Dd is 12 months

Have you heard of love languages? My husband’s love language is ‘touch’ but mine isn’t. I have to remind myself to be affectionate- hold hands, hugs, kisses, sex
So hubby feels loved.
My love language is ‘quality time’
Worth googling and there is a quiz you can do
Your hubby’s love language maybe ‘acts of service’. He’s showing his love by providing for the family and doing jobs around the house