Mama in need of desperate help.

[mamabear9898]

So this happened with my partner the other day and idk.. it’s a long one. I took his cake out of the fridge because we had actual food to go in there, he then through a bag at me and then pushed me and pushed me again even tho I said our daughters in front of us and she nearly got hurt. He didn’t seem to care, so I got so angry and stamped on his cake. He then- in front of our daughther, put his hand round my neck, pushed me into the wall and punched me a couple of times in my arm and pushed me, again in front of our daughter, it hurt me and scared her. He then decided to pack up his shit and leave us despite me begging him to stay, and struggling to breath saying we can’t live without him. He described the situation as a get out of jail free card and he gets away from the debt. I explained I was trying to protect our daughter when he said he didn’t care and it made me angry so I reacted to stamping on a cake and he decided to hit me, I begged him so much not go and I even said I’ll forgive him for hitting me and he didn’t care, we were engaged
To be married, he don’t get to just leave like that. I know I have issues such as the anxiety and depression, the ocd and depersonalisation and I know they’re a pain in the ass for him but they’re even worse for me and the vegan thing I know it’s hard for him but imagine how hard it is for me, I explained I can’t control it, he never stop to think about how much worse things are impacting me only how they’re effecting him. It isn’t fair, he can decide to walk in and out of our life’s and we can’t do anything about it. The argument was nothing to do with jealousy because his mother made him a cake and he spent a lot of time with her whilst I done stuff that morning. he seems to think it was. but the fact he leaves me to get on with things by myself no matter who else is there. Now he has never hit me before and I don’t think he will again I think it was built up anger and of course before anything gets serious he will be seeing someone for that. But he wants to try us again and so do I , I love him sooooo much and 100% want to be a family with him. Idk what to do right now. Any actually advice would be great.

I think he needs to stay away from the house and you both need to work on your own personal issues first and then worry about the issues as a partnership.

Your relationship is toxic. He did the right thing in leaving. Your poor daughter. That poor little girl has had to witness her mother stamping on a cake and begging her dad not to leave and her dad hitting her mum. Violence is never the answer and it sounds like there is violent, destructive and toxic behaviour on both sides. For your daughters sake, stay away from each other. You couldn’t breathe because he was walking away from a hideous situation? Your poor child.

You are both horribly selfish. BREAK UP AND STAY AWAT FROM EACH OTHER. Your poor little girl didn’t ask to be born into such an awful situation, she deserves so much better than you two are providing. You’re both violent and destructive and unbelievably selfish.

Why on earth do you want him to stay? He sounds a nightmare, and the last person you need in your life right now. It's really not good for your dd to see all this going on.

You are violent to each other in front of your young child. You are bad parents, frankly. Separate, and give yourselves a chance of being decent single parents to your poor daughter. She does not deserve pathetic excuses for parents like you.

You need to Split up
He will hit again.
You don't need this relationship.
You will be aggressive again and break things and stamp on things
Your dd needs a peaceful.home
You cannot be together
Go to gp ask for therapy

Hold on people, where in the OP does it say she was violent towards him? She stamped on a cake ffs, and HE PUSHED AND HIT AND STRANGLED AND PUNCHED HER.

Stop telling the OP she is to blame and cut her some slack. She obv has her own issues, and is now a victim of domestic violence.

OP, please contact Women's Aid and get some advice and above all be SAFE. Don't beg this arsehole to come back, in fact, don't let him come back even if he begs. You and especially your daughter, deserve better.

Get out, build a new life of freedom and safety for you and DD.

When you last out (stamping on cake) even in self defence or frustration the conclusion is you need to be away from the other person. This isn't a great relationship. The other person needs to go. They need to be apart. It s volatile. That impacts on dc.

Op can recognize that she lashed out and stamped on cake because this relationship is sour. Op saying " but I love him" ...it needs to turn to "I cannot live with this person " because the result is cake smashing etc.

And she may love him but he is violent. He needs to go.

And op you need to report him to police for the assault on you
And stay away from him
Don't let him back in the house

There's no way back from domestic violence like this. Please don't make your dc grow up in a violent household.

Your not right for each other. His behaviour was completely unacceptable. If social services find out that you are choosing your relationship over the safety of your daughter there may be serious consequences.