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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Quiet chat with the Police or being silly?

8 replies

RyVeeta · 09/10/2018 16:30

Just found out ex has been visiting a place not too far from where I have moved to. I moved a very, very long way in order not to be found. Turns out that he has been visiting a town not too far away. It's a damn site nearer than old city where we lived and he still does. I was in the next town along to the one he was visiting a couple of weekends ago, although whether or not he was there at that time I am unsure. Non molestation order back in place or just hope that this is genuine. In the (over) 20 years we were together he used public transport twice, with a great deal of help. He never visited anybody. It is odd.

OP posts:
ShizeItsWeegie · 09/10/2018 16:33

How do you know he was there?
If you put the NM back in place he might realise he was 'warm' surely?

RyVeeta · 09/10/2018 16:40

He told dd where he was and why. All a bit odd and v. outing so can't actually say.
Hadn't thought about the 'being warm' thing!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/10/2018 17:02

Difficult one.

Could you ask DD to do some more subtle questioning?

RyVeeta · 09/10/2018 17:15

No, I couldn't. He messages her stuff, she ignores. Making it more difficult of course. Don't know if it's true, guesses, a control thing...

OP posts:
MiggledyHiggins · 09/10/2018 17:16

Could he be fishing for your location through DD. If she's got social media location enabled (assuming she's old enough ) he might be able to suss out her local city/ town if she's posting to facebook or instagram from photos or chatter with her friends?

And then mentioned visiting [place] to see if it would rattle her.

RyVeeta · 09/10/2018 18:46

Dd is an adult and doesn't live here, but at uni. She doesn't generally respond to him. I suspect it's (yet another) control thing.

OP posts:
DinnaeKnowShitFromClay · 11/10/2018 11:50

How're you doing today OP? Perhaps speak to the police without reinstating the Non Mol for now?

MixedMaritalArts · 11/10/2018 12:17

Ask your daughter not to broadcast her location on any social media posts if they are friends on apps etc. It’s in settings then privacy zone.

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