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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DV effects

2 replies

ZebraTango · 09/10/2018 14:41

Hi everyone.. I have a really angry 3 year old. He recognises his anger and tells me he gets angry and says that it doesn't feel good. The things that trigger him are trivial for instance me cutting his strawberries in half or taking the wrong sock off first! He tells me he doesn't like me all the time and hits me and we seem to have lost our bond a little. I work full time. I went through domestic abuse during my pregnancy and until he was around 18 months when I decided enough was enough. Social services deemed his father as a risk to women and not children so he speaks to his dad over the phone and sees him when his dad can be bothered. Do you think his aggression and anger is because of the abuse and does that mean it is instilled in him??

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/10/2018 14:46

I would contact Womens Aid and discuss this matter with them further. What you describe re your son is more than likely connected to him seeing you as his mother being abused by his dad.

Have you contacted Social Services recently?. I would also consider ceasing all direct face to face contact with his father particularly given that his dad cannot be bothered.

notacooldad · 09/10/2018 14:52

Do you think his aggression and anger is because of the abuse and does that mean it is instilled in him??
First of all I am sorry that you and your child have been a victim of DV.
It does sound like your child has suffered trauma. There is lots of research on the affect that it can have on babies and young people. I will PM you a link that we used in one of training sessions. I will need to dig it out.
I do think you are going to need support to get over this to be honest as DV can have an affect on attachment and other development in children.

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