Help me stop being an unsupportive cow.

[DC18]

I only just realized how much Ive been hurting my very sweet and kind OH's feelings and need a reality check.
My OH is intelligent, enthusiastic and optimistic. He works fulltime and is also studying in his free time. He has this plan to start his own company and not work by the time he is 40. The only problem is each idea about a company he has... are rubbish.
He has no new ideas at all. Which I admit, I point out and give him a dozen examples of other companies that do the exact same. I know this is negative but feel like I need to do it so he doesn't waste time on an idea that's got loads of established competition. I don't work in business but run a charity so have a little understanding of marketing.
I know I'm the horrible unsupportive partner here but how can I support him when I don't believe in his ideas?
Does anyone have any tips for me to help encourage and support him without my default negativity as it's upsetting him to the point he told his brother he can't talk to me about it which makes me feel soo guilty x

Well I mean you can't just till him an idea is great if it isn't either. It would be worse if you encouraged him and he lost everything, wouldn't it?

Don't think you are being unsupportive, sounds like he's in cloud cuckoo land; would he rather you faked it and went along with his rubbish ideas, well tough, I guess the truth hurts and he can't deal with the reality of the situation, don't know why you feel guilty.

Running your own company doesn’t mean doing something unique. It might be doing it better, or differently, or in a location where there isn’t that thing already. You could do something unique, but then other people tend to copy, so you still need to do it better or differently.
Telling him his ideas are rubbish because there’s already someone doing it seems very narrow-minded!

I understand im being a bit negative but i wouldnt say narrow minded as my limited awareness of marketing knows they arent great. I really don't want him jumping feet first in to an idea that has strong, established competitors (nationally I.e supermarkets)
Thanks Trinity and Adora, I know I'm stating the obvious to him but feel guilty I'm crushing his optimism and being unsupportive.
Anyone know a practical way I can support him to develop real tangible ideas? X

Could you research sources of information and support for small businesses, both nationally and locally?
Suggest he attends some networking meetings or goes on some courses?
If he wants a business he's going to need to know stuff like the legal requirements, accounting, maybe some HR, tax...all sorts.
He can probably find some lovely like-minded people to share ideas with and any criticism, if he is being naive and impractical, will come from someone impartial, not you.

Idea's are ten a penny. It's all about the execution of ideas.

Get him to read some books and go to some networking events. Some ones out there are on meetup app or event bright.

Best book hands down for someone starting a business is duncans bannatynes autobiography and starting a business for dummies.
A business accelerator can help depending on your personality (www.entrepreneurial-spark.com/)

Pure basics
the fact that others are doing it shows there is a market.
Find the problem not your solution.
Get a business plan and concentrate on the figures. Barclays used to do a good template.
Validate the idea. Dont listen to friends, listen to the public. If you want to sell coffee to mum's go to a coffee shop and ask mums what they want.
He sounds hardworking, reality is if you can work 100 hours a week you make it a success.

Best websites
UKbusinessforums
startupdonuts
reddit startups and validate my idea.

It takes cash (at least a couple of grand) and time to do anything but the positives are great.

oh and if he is into podcasts or you for a bit of an idea try
start up diary
the small business sessions
the bottom line
the gary vee experiance

Anyone know a practical way I can support him to develop real tangible ideas? X

read the lean start up. talks all about development and will help you help him.

I do think poking holes in his ideas is very unsupportive and a wee bit mean too - the first question you'd have to ask yourself honestly is why? Is it because you are worried that he won't succeed and it will be a problem financially?
Are you worried he won't succeed and it will be demoralising for him ?(moreso than you undermining his ideas)
If it's latter - he's a grown man and should be trusted to make his own mistakes during his progress. There is no such thing as overnight success and trial and error is essential. To interfere and pass unsolicited judgement is actually a bit controlling.
If it's not this then what is the reason?

Thank you all for the tips and advice so far. I will certainly look into these. Ive bought him books in the past which he has appreciated.
**Onemansoapopera
To be honest it's probably a bit of both. He does jump in to things feet first and I'm worried he will put a lot of time, money and energy in to something that isn't feasible.
I might be a bit controlling but it's because I know how hard setting up a company is so I want to make sure his plans are fully formed first before investing time and money.

The easiest way to challenge his ideas is to ask the right questions for him to see it for himself, rather than making statements.

He’ll learn more from this, it’ll get him thinking, and you won’t be the one telling him it won’t work as he’ll be doing that for himself.

If you know how to set up a company, who taught you OP or did you learn by your own mistakes? If you were lucky to have a mentor to help you, perhaps they could help your husband now? It's often a lot easier to take advice once removed as it were.

How old is he now if he thinks he won't be working at 40?
I'm not sure what his ideas are of course but what I would personally do is support a more realistic (?) outlook on his chances of that.

If it's something that you honestly can't get behind but want to support him in as best you can just make sure no financial risks are being taken at your expense. I think if you have nothing to lose personally it will be easier to support him.

I'm anxious about money so would be the same if DP was wanting to invest in an idea I wasn't confident in. But if we didn't have any joint finances and it wouldn't affect me too much day to day (minus maybe longer working hours and some increased stress) I think I could be a better support.

Also, does he ask you? Another tact would be only to give your opinion if he asks. If he doesn't ask, he doesn't want your opinion and he's old enough to sort his own stuff out. Good or bad.