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Relationships

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Original poster

Flirting and croissants

35 replies

Diffident · 09/10/2018 00:48

I'm a shy and relatively inexperienced (In relationships) early 40 something single man. I'm trying to get a bit more confident but not making much headway. I buy bread at the weekend at a kind of farmers market. To be frank I fancy the woman at the bakery stall.
I bought some croissants there the last 2 weeks running and she gave me 2 massive winks one as I handed the money over and one as she handed me the croissants.
I don't even like croissants. Is she flirting or just trying (& succeeeding) to sell croissants. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/10/2018 00:52

I was always very nice and friendly and lovely when I worked retail. I only ever fancied one customer and I avoided him out of embarrassment.

Is she friendly and winky with the other customers?

BitOfFun · 09/10/2018 00:54

I doubt she's flirting, sorry.

BitOfFun · 09/10/2018 00:57

Market stall patter. Standard.

sadiesnakes · 09/10/2018 04:32

Yes women don't wink at men they are actually interested in. That's just market banter I'm afraid.

Original poster

Diffident · 09/10/2018 04:50

I am grateful and chastened. I'd have made a fool of myself it seems.

OP posts:

Monty27 · 09/10/2018 04:56

Not yet OP. But there isn't really any true signs to take seriously there.
I had a crush on a guy that cooked my bacon sarnies in Woolwich. It never came to anything

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/10/2018 15:03

I'd fancy someone who made me bacon sarnies. That's evolution or something!

OP it's fine. We all get crushes sometimes. Have you got any hobbies or any way to meet a nice woman generally?

Tighnabruaich · 09/10/2018 16:43

She may be winking as part of her market stall routine, and I'm not sure that that many women do wink at men they fancy. However, you don't know that for sure. No harm going back for more croissants and beginning to start up some small talk, weather, croissants etc. Just to get a better feel for how the land lies. If she's not interested, no harm done, you'll just have to get your croissants elsewhere!

mogratpineapple · 09/10/2018 16:46

It's a bit sexist I know, but an awful lot of men I know think that a friendly woman fancies them. My dad did all the time. My DH like a particular kind of cake that they make at work. He has told them in the canteen that he likes them. One day he comes home and says that he thinks the girl in the canteen fancies him because she held a couple of cakes back for him.

"Is she young?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied.
"Then I doubt if she fancies you. She probably likes you, yes, because you remind her of her granddad."

Not helpful but be aware that some people are just nice.

Original poster

Diffident · 11/10/2018 22:17

I'm not one of these people that thinks everyone fancies them although I know those people exist. I thought it might be flirting but on reflection probably not.

OP posts:

dragonflyflew · 11/10/2018 22:24

I agree with another poster who suggested some innocuous chat. She might wink to be friendly or have a wonky eye or she might be a shocking flirt. Just be normal, chat to her and see if she shuts down or opens up more. Don't be flirty or creepy tho..

TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius · 11/10/2018 22:28

Just say, "Do you fancy sharing these over a coffee one day, nice croissant seller person?"

What have you got to lose?

Ohyesiam · 11/10/2018 22:33

Can you join a queue and see if she is generous with the winks?

Mookatron · 11/10/2018 22:35

Even if the wink is not flirting it doesn't mean she wouldn't go out with you.

Original poster

Diffident · 11/10/2018 22:59

"Can you join a queue and see if she is generous with the winks?"
I had certainly been thinking about doing just that. It's a stall though and there are several of them so it already looks like I kind of try and buy the croissants from her rather than the other 2 she works with. That might in itself account for the winks as in "I know you wait for me to serve you"..

OP posts:

ladamanera · 11/10/2018 23:34

Go for it! If she knocks you back at least you dont have to endure the croissants any more. Flaky works of the devil that they are.

Mum2OneTeen · 11/10/2018 23:37

Leave her alone, she's just doing her job by being friendly with customers.

SuperSuperSuper · 11/10/2018 23:39

Ask her to meet you for a coffee and an inferior croissant in Costa.

LanguidLobster · 11/10/2018 23:47

@ladamanera!

I think OP I'd just try a smile and a talk and see what the response is

Original poster

Diffident · 12/10/2018 00:00

Leave her alone, she's just doing her job by being friendly with customers
It made me sad to read this, the way it came across.

OP posts:

MidLifeCrisis2017 · 12/10/2018 00:02

Made me sad too. Faint heart never won fair lady. Just chat and get to know her.

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 12/10/2018 00:03

Greet her next time with a jolly 'Bonjour!'

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/10/2018 05:12

I was thinking about the bloke I fancied when I worked in a shop. I know he liked me because he said as much to my manager after I'd left. So I had a think about if there was any way he could have asked me out without it being weird and awkward. And there wasn't. And had anyone who I didn't like done it that would have been 100 times worse.

So yes, faint heart and all that. But there are far far far more blokes that imagine an attraction than there are men you actually do like. And if she's attractive she probably has to deal with it a fair amount. So I wouldn't.

TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius · 12/10/2018 07:05

Don't leave her alone If we all left each other alone at the outset in situations like this the human population would die out. no bad thing, think of the dolphins and all that, even tho they are apparently evil

Original poster

Diffident · 12/10/2018 12:45

Strikes me that were all inter gender interaction to stop tomorrow so would harassment and making people uncomfortable but I don't think that is necessary nor desirable. I don't have any expectations and she's entitled to react however she wants, winks or no winks, talking or not. I've only really ever studied the theory of these things but it strikes me that flirtation is the opposite of harassment as it serves to make someone feel more comfortable than they'd be with no interaction at all. Anyway I'm going to head down tomorrow with an open mind.

OP posts:

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