I’m a single mother to 3 primary school aged children. Like any Mum, I worry about my children if they aren’t well. My son had complained periodically about a heaviness in his ear. Not painful, But clearly uncomfortable. Not one to panic, I didn’t rush him to the Dr. until one morning he woke with a clear sticky discharge from his ear. Again, no pain, but I decided to send him to our GP to have it checked. After examining him, the GP was rather baffled admitting she couldn’t see anything wrong, but concerned about the discharge referred him to see a specialist THAT WEEK! Unfortunately the only appt available was on my ex husbands day with the children (and my work day) I hesitantly phoned my ex husband, gave him a brief run down and asked If he would be happy to take our son. If not, I would skip work to take him. He obliged, and I immediately felt relief he did not have an aneurysm over the fact the appt. was during “school time.” On the afternoon of the appointment I phoned my ex husband to ask what the outcome of the specialist visit was. His response left me speechless and unable to comprehend any form of parenting skills by him. “This has to Stop” he says! “Constantly taking the children out of school for Dr appointments because youre a hypochondriac” (I’d like to side track a little here. I think each of my 3 children have been to the Dr once each this year. My daughter was vomiting every night. And I mean very night without fail - she had to have an endoscopy. I’ll get to that) and my other son ended up with a fractured thumb) What occurred next was even more mind numbing. “There is nothing wrong with our children! They are healthy! (Our son) Did not need to see a specialist. There is nothing wrong with him! But instead he has missed a day of school that has cost ME x-amount in school fees which may as well have been pis**ed up against a wall and I’m $400 out of pocket because you over react!” I was then “demanded” to pay the day of school fees he missed and half the cost of the specialist appointment. After remaining silent for 5 minutes on the phone in shock - I told him where to jam his greedy money because clearly his priorities for the health and care of his children were not even remotely of a concern to him. After hanging up on him, telling him what a bad parent he was (yes I was angry) I offered to pay every medical bill if need be! And informed him that if I was in a “position” to pay the school fees I would! Noting it was “not negotiable” for him that our children attend private school. I was quite happy to send them to the local primary school. I was outraged he could even consider that a medical appt would be an inconvenience to him. I’d also like to inject here, that whilst I am aware $400 is nothing to sneeze at, and not everyone has this spare! we are talking about a successful business man who has more money than sense. Regardless, if it was the last $400 I had in my bank account I would have spent it on that specialist appt. Going back to my daughter who required a day procedure after she would vomit each night. He bought her to the hospital the morning of the procedure in her school uniform. He intended on dropping her to school after the day procedure (and after having a general anaesthetic) Thankfully again, my daughter was fine and nothing serious was diagnosed. And I was lucky that the]at the Surgeon had a word to him insisting she was NOT to attend school that day Phew! So I was again accused of over reacting and making all this stuff up! The biggest concern to him, being what money he may be out of pocket. Ok so we divorced for a number of reasons. His obsession and drive to be successful at the expense of his family for one. It’s very important to me After a very messy divorce (which did affect our children) that we parent together and get along. Something we have managed to do quite well together the last couple of years. Now this has caused enormous tension between us as I cannot let it go! I feel money has always come before his children/family. I am unable to tell him anymore if one of the children have a day off school as I am hurled abuse for the school fees that have been paid for them not attending. On Thursdays I drop the children to school and he picks them up. On occasions if my children are sick on this day, I have to send them to school anyway and tell the kids to go straight to sick bay, so the school can call me to pick them up. I am terrified of the abuse I will get for allowing them to stay home from school. He feels they need to toughen up and unless they are dying, they attend school. I’m losing sleep over this, and I am honestly terrified to keep the children home if I feel they aren’t well enough. On one occasion , I had to make my child lie to him, telling him they did go to school. What sort of Mum does that?? :( Yes I have spoken to the school, and it’s hard to not feel like the bitter ex wife having a crack at her ex husband. But now he’s making me question if infact I AM over reacting about my children’s health. I honestly don’t know what to do.