Just looking for some advice really. Basically, for months and months now, I have been woken up by my partner feeling me up, and once even trying to stick his dick in me while completely asleep. I take medication so I can sleep through my pain, and he appears to be taking advantage of that. A few days ago, I was woken up by the same thing but did not have the energy for an argument, so when he was trying to put my hand on his dick and that, I just kept pretending to move whilst asleep, like removing my hand from his crotch and that..seeing if he would take the hint. He did not and just kept trying. I genuinely do not understand why he won't just have a wank or something,. rather than assault me in my sleep.
The time he woke me up by trying to actually stick his dick in, I told him this was rape..and his answer was just 'well I didn't get it in so its not'. No apologies no nothing.
Each time this has happened, I have told him I find it creepy as fuck, and to stop. But he obviously hasn't. He also seems to have a bit of a 'its no big deal' thing going on, even though I have told him its a big deal.
Now onto my illness. I have chronic pain, most of everyday. This has gone on ever since I had my son a few years back. Doctors cannot explain it. They did think it may be my gallbladder so took that out, but the operation went wrong, I almost died through them not realising that it went wrong, and long story short I have been left with a shitload of nerve damage in my chest to go with the original rib/abdo pain. I am...broken. Some days I cannot even get out of bed for the pain. Even doing something light, like hoovering sets it off really really badly, basically any exertion at all makes it a lot worse, and even if I just push through the pain and 'do stuff' during my pain free hours, this just means that the pain will be much worse when it comes back.
So anyway me and my husband just had a massive blowout fight. I had asked him why there was still a load of rubbish in the yard when it was meant to be moved into the shed as neighbors have been complaining about mattresses and stuff being in the yard (though the reason for that was that was because we paid to get them took away due to getting new ones, and we were told by the council to leave them in the yard until they got picked up..basically our neighbours are just moany twats). He said to me that I have no right to ask about household stuff as I am lazy and just lie in bed all day issuing orders while doing nothing. He knows how bad my illness is and how I would LOVE to be able to do all the household stuff myself, so this got to me a lot.
In a way, I am happy this has shocked me into actually realising that our relationship is in tatters. I have been putting up with weekly sexual assaults, all because I know that if we ever did divorce, I would barely see the kids as I am unfit to do so really. I cannot do anything for them as I am in pain near constantly, even when downing morphine. He clearly does not respect me, given he has continued to feel me up when I am asleep even though I have told him I don't likle this and find it creepy/pervy. I know some women are fine with this and it can lead to sex or whatever, and of course its fine if thats what they want. But I don't want this, and have said this multiple times yet he keeps doing it, so he does not respect me at all. Even the grabbing my hand to put on his cock, then basically wanking with my hand sickens the fuck out of me.
So yeah, bit of a lifestory there really. But my question is..how on earth would this work? Obviously he would have to have main custody of the kids as I cannot even take them to school and stuff, but even..me having them on weekends or something wouldn't work as I am just not able to do anything for them. So to my mind, if I split from him I wouldn't see the kids at all really. I know I may be missing something. So asking on here. We have been together 10 years now, and its only in the past year opr so that we have been arguing, and things have got so much worse with me being given the sleeping tablets that hes clearly taking advantage of. Issue is, I don't actuall;y know how often he has done this, it could be every night for all I know, I only know about the times I have woken up to it. Really it could be constant, just most nights I am sleeping deeply. This disturbs me a lot..