Need Advise

[LoudAndLarge]

I don't even know where to start with this.

Long term relationship, 1 child & seriously unhappy. We don't talk, I don't want sex with him & we have no fun.

I desperately want to leave or him to but I am so scared. Scared to rip my sons life apart, scared I won't be able to keep my home, scared I won't be able to continue with my job which I have worked so hard to get where I am.

Anyone have practical advise or have been in the same situation? Any positive stories.

I’m in the same situation but with two kids. I’ve been hanging on for over a year..... nothing’s changed...see ‘feeling trapped’ a couple of people have offered me some good advice. Think we just need to be brave. Xx

I just feel so lonely. To everyone on the outside he is a good day, he is kind & we have a nice enough life but none of that matters if you aren't happy.

He does have some bad points, He drinks way too much and he is moody and sulky towards me. He doesn't support me in anyway.

I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to ☹️

Ditto ☹️ To the outside we have the perfect marriage ..... on the inside not quite so. The latest is a three day sulk from him which involves him withdrawing from all parental and household duties and leavingeverything me.... I think he feels it’s a punishment but now he’s out of the sulk he’s expecting a kiss and everything to be ok....
have you any friends you could talk to? I’ve found talking it through with a few close friends has really helped..... but I still haven’t been brave enough to end things..... sorry I’m not much help, but just wanted you to know you’re not the only one in that situation

Ladies, all the support and advice you could possibly need, is available on this site. You are not alone.
First things first, do you really want to break up ?
Could things be improved by talking ?
Your child/children will not be happy, in an unhappy house.
Both parents can still be great parents, though living apart.
Don't be scared, you only have one life. For you all. 🌸🌸🌸

Raising your child in a miserable home with an abusive alcoholic is ALWAYS the wrong choice.

Get out and don't look back.

Moody, sulky, doesn’t support you in any way yet is kind? Why are you with him? Seriously?

Sugar - yes I really want to break up. I feel so unhappy, I feel like my life is slipping away, but I look at my Son and it breaks my heart.

For the first time I sat down with my friend tonight and spoke about it but I am so so scared of the future ☹️.

We can't save it and I don't want to, I just want to feel brave enough to do it.

I don't know where to turn.

@Nighowl - hopefully we can offer each other support and be brave together

I really feel for you, I was you, a long time ago.
Now that you've made up your mind, you have to take the first step.
If you have family, speak to them, don't sugar coat it.
If you don't, speak to Women's Aid, persevere, until you get through, they'll help you to form a plan.
Never forget, everything comes to pass, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
There is no can't, only can, and you can do this, to ensure a happy future, for you and your DS.
There may be ups and downs, trials and tribulations, but you have to keep on keeping on, to reach your goal. Take the fist step today ....
Much love Sweet.🌸

@Sugarpiehoneyeye Thank you. I can honestly say that the few messages I have had have made me feel much stronger.

I'm going to ask him to leave tonight. I will have to work everything out as it happens. I have a very supportive manager although I don't think I can continue my job long term single.

The first step is saying the words. I do deserve to be happy and I do deserve to have a life.

Before you speak to him, get ant documents that you may need, and put them somewhere safe.

How did it go large and loud? I’m hoping to get the courage tonight.... was going to do it yesterday but he went straight up to bed after the kids went to bed ( we sleep in desperate rooms) I’ve done lots of calculations and I think I can just about manage to run our house on my own and may suggest this as a short term plan so as not to upset the kids too much....
hope you are ok and stay strong xx

@Nighowl, Tonight is the night for me. I have told a few friends and feel much stronger. I also think I can keep my house at least short term. Long term who knows but right now I know that I just need to be me again and be happy.
Good luck tonight. Keep posting and I will also. We can do this xx

This must be so tough!!! i cant imagine how your feeling. But good luck for tonight, id just suggest being honest with your manager if you say they are supportive and it may be possible to make things work in a different way when the time comes.

I hope your friends and family support you in this situation!!! best of luck

I did this on the weekend- asked him to leave. He left on Monday. DD is upset in patches but we are hanging in there! She will be ok. Good luck!

You will be fine. Just having the conversation can bring a sense of relief. I chewed over ending my relationship for many months before I plucked up the courage. It wasn't an easy ride but its the best decision I ever made.
Why do you think you can't keep your job? is it the cost of childcare? Make sure you find out what tax credits you're entitled to and the child maintenance calculator as you might get more help than you think.