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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ExStopped Communicating Because Has A New Pregnant Girlfriend??

7 replies

Smiley2018 · 08/10/2018 15:50

Me and my childs father have a three-year-old son together. We've been on and off for 4 years but have known each other over a decade. He has two children from a previous relationship a son with me and his current girlfriend of 3 months is pregnant. So he met a woman while he was in a compromising position she helped him out financially and did things for him. We we're not together at the time but we're discussing getting back together for the sake of our child. We would text every day and talk every day even if he was seeing someone and still sexually active. So he ended up going to jail for DUI and me and the woman actually bumped heads because she was looking for him via fb. Well to sum things up she didn't know about me she didn't know about our son he only told her about his first two childrend mom. She then told me she's pregnant. I got so angry after finding these things out I told her things about him that she didn't know. I disclosed his criminal record I disclosed how many kids he really had I told her of his drinking problem. Once he was released and found out that she knew all this information he blocked me and I haven't heard from him since. I found out that the girl still talks to him but is having problems with him and has already called the relationship off once. Here is the thing even though he has done horrible things to me over the years like I said we have been on and off which the off was due to his infidelities. I do feel bad about disclosing that information to her. Was I wrong should I contact him and apologize? I've never went this long without talking to him but he has done worse things to me and I have forgiven him I fill like for him to get so angry over me disclosing information to a female that he's only been knowing for a few months and just cut me off knowing we have a child together it's a bit crazy. Also I found out he asked her to relocate with him. Should I reach out and apologize should I leave things as they are and just forget about it? Like I said he's done some horrible things to me very horrible and I have forgiven him and for him to just turn his back on me and his son in my opinion so small makes me question if he ever really cared for me and his son. like I said she didn't even know about us she didn't even know that we had a kid together and she didn't even know I existed. Just need opinions/advice on if he will come around and or if I should apologize or just leave it alone. Also I am the one who originally said that we should just be friends so for me to turn around and get so angry and jealous and tell her all this information I feel silly because I really didnt want to be with him romantically anyway because there was no trust anymore. But I did get angry to find that he didn't tell her about us as if we weren't important. What should I do? Also why wouldn't he not tell her about us if they got serious she would of found out..

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 08/10/2018 16:05

He sounds like a real prize :/ I would stay away from him If I were you

Pacificwander · 09/10/2018 09:43

Apologize for what? Telling the truth!
Get on to cms get what's owed for son if he's not supporting his child and get on with your life that will be drama free without this poor excuse for a man!
And also stop forgiving a shit man for treating you like shit

Howdoyoudoit31 · 09/10/2018 10:07

Why would you even bother contacting him full stop? He’s a prized prick.

BendyLikeBeckham · 09/10/2018 10:11

block and delete.
And pursue child maintenance through official channels.
Make a good life for you and your son without him.

ferando81 · 09/10/2018 10:23

He's unfaithful ,has a drinking problem ,has been in prison.and has multiple children by different partners .Yet you are totally besotted with him.
It amazes me that so many women give these type of men a second look .The old phase "treat them mean to keep them keen "springs to mind .
One thing is for sure ,if you pursue men like this you will never find happiness.They view women like you with contempt and treat you with contempt.
I'm sorry to be harsh but you need to wake up and smell the roses

ravenmum · 09/10/2018 10:27

Also why wouldn't he not tell her about us
So that he would be able to continue the on-off relationship with you, without her getting jealous?

He's bad news, love. Below your standards. Time to put some effort into finding someone better.

HoppingPavlova · 09/10/2018 10:39

Throw on some self-respect and leave him in your dust. Going off what you say I doubt you would get any child support as he sounds like a prize loser but you never know. Block, block, block. The only contact you need to have us if he initiates a formal request regarding contact with his child but I really doubt this will occur.

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