My parents split when I was ten. The 'split' seemed to take about ten years of psychological warfare.
My DF spent the whole of that time slagging my mother off. It's been getting steadily worse over the last few years. Getting to the point that he's making her out to be an alcoholic, murdering psychopath. She was none of those things. She slapped me once and still feels guilty about that and I've never seen her raise her hand to anyone. What I remember is that there was violence in our home and it came from him. I was terrified of him. He denies my version of events, just flat out denies it.
Think forcibly rubbing a toddlers nose into the carpet when something had been spilt, for example.
He won't drop it though. Just goes on and on about stuff that happened decades ago and he is always the victim.
Now he thinks he can babysit my daughter. My DM does so regularly you see.
It's a shame because we did have a reasonable relationship until I had my daughter when he seemed to lose the plot. He means well but he just doesn't seem to be able to get out of this hole. He's still obsessed with hating my mother for leaving him.
How the fuck do I manage him?